Blogarama

2003-06-14T20:53:00.000-05:00

|Follow the yellow brick road.|

Current Music: Grace is Gone, Dave Matthews Band

Current Thought: It's over! Yay!

Okay, it's official: The Hannahrama Blogarama has moved to DiaryLand. You'll find it now at http://saellys.diaryland.com. I've just spent the last hour and more transferring all my old posts to the new server. Hope you appreciate all that work. ;^)

See you at the new Blogarama. Namarie.

2003-06-13T22:36:00.000-05:00

|Whoa, people other than my immediately friends actually read my blog.|

Current Music: Umm... something written by Ben... Let's not go into it.

Current Thought: Where do I begin?

Websites are cool. Everybody go to http://www.donniedarko.com and http://www.soulbath.com. Yeah.

Okay, so I backed into my parents' car on Tuesday... I still have no job... and I'm as grounded as I usually get, which means that on select days I can only drive to school and places where I plan to apply. Not that they're hiring or anything, I just apply there anyway. Yay for me.

So no Dublin. No U2 concert. No Coldplay, either. Life is rather sucky. But it's okay, 'cause I'm at Michael and Ben's house, and there's some, uh... entertainment. Unfortunately that involves Sam singing. I'd really like to know how Natalie's doing right now... If things go as planned tonight, she'll be as depressed as I am by, oh, about now.

The one bright spot in all of this is that I had this unbelievably good dream on Wednesday night, and last night's dream was coherent enough to base a very strange short story off of it, which doesn't happen often. (I mean, I can't exactly write about the time that I met J.R.R. Tolkien at Eryn's house, 'cause, well, it never happened. And neither, unfortunately, did Wednesday's dream. Sigh.)

Oh, and another upside is that right after my parents grounded me, they started giving me an allowance. That's never ever happened before. I should get grounded more often.

Anyway. I'm gonna act irritated for the next ten minutes, and then go home. Goodnight, and namar.

2003-06-06T23:32:00.000-05:00

|Brothers and sisters, unite--it's the time of your lives...|

Current Music: Brothers and Sisters, Coldplay (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: The fun I had this evening makes up for the suckiness of my whole week.

Okay, before I begin to describe the indescribable coolness of this evening, I must pass along yet another link discovered on Neil Gaiman's blog: Rob's Amazing Poem Generator. I plugged in this site, and some of the individual lines were just perfect...

How many decimal
places you have? no accounting for the street
to figure I do what does a or so . I
guess set in
my arms around It goes.

Grace is where
is dead grey hairs from in
fact, not to
see much and go biking
around the stuff that I go into some strange
that
skip church with
me It on cell phone. on!
Saturday, Brittany, Joel, Adam, Clayton
joked that over for ease in my car in
the first of
2004, I
had the stuff 1.

Nobody else
is your blog. of
my fall and not a cell
phone. on!
yesterday, was pretty funny.
Survey Ooh.

get more reason to get real Life is
worth 20 points, that
cool, And we
left
Taco Bell as a crappy muzak.
Current Thought: got slide film for one
but anyway. Hung
out afterwards I think
the Christian Character to E
Free free,
my glasses on. Friday and
then got a lot of her after all, I
will be leaving four of
that Bible Quiz
but when You have? to
get my Dublin be
taking too
The lake, and
I was hot?
Well, all probably the thrift
store Auf wiedersehen,
and five of an open Mexican restaurant,
and
collectible U2 EPs
and well,
I want
to and
players. were
out of all
got an hour There which was
in his compassion for
us.

and we
do, with. Natalie MerchantCurrent Thought:
This town. for
the conversation the road. That I
can you use them So yeah.
right.

That's so much fun.

Anyway. Tonight, tonight. Tonight, after arriving home at last from Chicago, I tried to arrange a social get-together with someone whom I thought was my best friend, only to be completely blown off with ridiculous excuses that completely gave away the fact that she didn't want to see me at all. So, happy to oblige, I called Delacey and Brittany, and after a little aimless driving, we decided to head for Eryn's house, where we knew, thanks to an inside source, that several of the youth group guys were having a "secret" sleepover.

Needless to say, it was imperative that we crash it immediately.

So we drove down the main street that leads right to Eryn's house, and about halfway there I happen to glance in the rearview mirror, only to see Eryn behind me with Sam and Kyle and Brian with him. So we arrived precisely when they did, and spent the next ten minutes basking in the hilarity of the various reactions. Brian and Kyle flipped out and demanded to know who told us, but we kept our source anonymous. Sam was fairly irritated (but by no means furious on the Sam Scale of Anger) and called all women manipulative and evil. Eryn was growing more and more uncomfortable by the minute, and we were only in his driveway. The other guys (there were a few more) were generally happy to see us. So yeah. We gave them all something to talk about for the evening.

Anyway. After that we went to Barnes & Noble, and now I'm back home. Home, home, home home home. Yay for home. Now it's time for bed. Bed, bed, bed bed bed. Yay for bed. Namar.

2003-06-02T17:46:00.000-05:00

|Chicago... Tomorrow... Chicago... Tomorrow...|

Current Music: Grace is Gone, Dave Matthews Band

Current Thought: Sigh.

Today was okay, I suppose, if you ignore my parents nagging me to get a job, any job, even if it's a really crappy job. (If Mom mentions Braum's or Papa Murphy's one more time, I'll explode.) I cashed my check from Dayco, closed my nearly-empty savings account, bought some clothes from the thrift store (but didn't meet any opossums), and got slide film for the stereo camera. Got home and chatted with two depressed friends over AIM. I'd like to think that maybe I made them feel a little better, but I never can be sure.

I want to do something tonight, my last night in town before the bliss of Chicago's museums. I'll probably call Del and Brittany soon, and get in contact with Adam, too. They were craving hanging out with me on Saturday, so I expect they'll still be keen to do something tonight.

I really, really, really wish I could stay in Chicago long enough to see Coldplay. Even if it was from the nosebleed section. Just to be in the same stadium with Berryman, Buckland, Champion, and Martin would be indescribably fantastic. But sadly, we'll be leaving four days before they woo the masses with their transcendent melodies. And there's no chance of bumping into them on the street, as they'll be in Denver on the 6th or something like that. Ahh, well. It'll be enough to see some Van Gogh, Degas, and Pollock.

I'll post again in a few days. Namar.

2003-06-01T14:30:00.000-05:00

|I wanna run/I want to hide...|

Current Music: Where the Streets Have No Name, U2

Current Thought: I want to draw, paint, sculpt, write, compose, or do something, anything artistic. Must... express... self...

Okay, the Stuff of the Month is really updated now. Not a day early, though. Sigh.

Anyway. Mom has returned from California, with many trinkets and things leftover from the old house after my grandfather died. There's a nice Minolta SLR camera with a zoom lens, a wall lamp with a built in volt meter that really works, and best of all, an honest-to-God stereo camera that exposes two frames of 35mm film at a time, with binocular lenses that focus simultaneously. It's very 1960s. I can't wait to try it out.

And there are photographs. Lots and lots and lots of photographs. More than we know what to do with. Mom and Dad are going to do a bit of renovation upstairs just so we have a place to put all this stuff. Which means I'll have the old computer in my room for a short time while they paint--and of course I'd just decided that I didn't want it there, after all. I dunno, I might change my mind while it's in there. At least I'll be able to play Age of Empires and Roller Coaster Tycoon whenever I want.

Well, if I don't post tomorrow, you won't be hearing from me for a while, as I'll be in Chicago until late Friday night, exploring the museums and doing Sister Wendy impressions in front of the great masterpieces. ("Wembwandt. Wembwandt is what bwings us togeveh today.") We're driving what is by far the largest artifact gleaned from my grandparents' belongings--the metallic gold Buick LeSabre that Grandma gave us. It's a boat, but the AC works, the windows are tinted, the seats are soft, and it has a CD player. I'll be quite comfortable.

I think I'll take the stereo camera with me. Namarie.

2003-05-30T13:47:00.000-05:00

|Checkitoutcheckitoutcheckitoutcheckitoutcheckitout...|

Current Music: The Girl All the Bad Guys Want, whatever the name of that band is (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: Must... get... job...

Behold: The Stuff of the Month has been updated! And a day early! Huttah!

Anyway. It's been a nice, boring week. I'm waiting to hear from the Library (they said interviews will be arranged at the end of this week or the beginning of next), and I also applied at a cell phone place and something called... *cough* Aardvark Audio, where I will apparently be making audio tapes. Yay for me.

But hey, it's money, and it won't involve solvent fumes on 3rd shift, so it's all good. And I calculated last night that if I were to work two jobs this summer, Aardvark during the day and the cell phone place/library nights, I could still get to Dublin quite comfortably by next summer, once all my fall and spring earnings are added in. So I am slightly less hopeless and distraught right now. And I'll feel downright chipper once I've actually got a job. And when I get two jobs, well, you won't even recognize me. Yay!

Methinks that next week, I'll be accompanying my parents to Chicago to go museum-hopping with Mom while Dad attends some robot convention or something. It's really too bad we can't stay a few days extra--Coldplay's gonna be there on the 9th or the 11th or something. There is no measure to how much I would love to see Coldplay in concert. Almost as much as I'd love to see U2 in concert, but U2 won't be touring until next year (one more reason to go to Dublin). Anyway. Back to Coldplay. Chris Martin is hot...

Well, it's almost 2 p.m., and I still haven't had breakfast. Dad just handed me a $10 bill to go buy some soy milk so I can finally satiate my not-particularly-overwhelming hunger. Actually, my stomach just began to actively insist that I fill it, so perhaps it'd be best for me to get offline, change into some presentable clothes, and head for the grocery store. Auf wiedersehen, and namar.

2003-05-26T13:01:00.000-05:00

|Oy.|

Current Music: Something strange that was in my head when I woke up.

Current Thought: Need. Job. Now.

Well, it's been quite a month (or so). I started, and quit (in the same 24-hour span) a crappy job that would have made me tons of money, and now Dublin hangs in the balance of whether or not I can find a job within the next couple of weeks. I applied at a cell phone place and Barnes & Noble (even though they're not hiring), and also the library, on the closing day for a position at the new branch. Nobody else is hiring. My savings account has around $25 in it. I need a job.

But besides the job-related crappiness, my life has been pretty dang good lately. Yesterday, that being Sunday, I did special music in church with Katrina, which went over very well. People actually asked if we wrote that song. No, I'd say, it's by Third Day. Third Day, I'd think to myself. One of the most popular Christian groups in history. Doesn't anyone in this church listen to music?

Anyway. Much of my time has been spent with Delacey, Brittany, Joel, Sam, and Adam. Michael and Ben are back in town, so I've been hanging out with them, too. Most of the time that involves playing Mafia, a game at which their dad is becoming very skilled. And when we're not playing Mafia, we discuss the significance of certain plot twists in The Matrix: Reloaded. Last night as we postulated on the possibility of two matrices, I had to stop and ask myself why in heaven's name I was spending precious time talking about a movie I didn't even like.

Speaking of which, here's a funny story for you. Last Friday I went to see TM:R with Natalie, Josh, Adam, Courtney, Heather, Linzy, and Katelyn. And, in a blur of strange teenage thoughts, we all decided to dress up completely in black. Why? How should I know? The point is, for the entirety of the evening I was wearing only black, plus some extremely painful high-heeled boots I borrowed from Courtney. So after the movie, we all went to a Taco Bell down the road, which happened to be right across the street from Wal-Mart. And we're sitting around, at 11:30, and most of the people there come from one particular high school. And then these two guys walk in, also from that high school, and greet some other people. "Dude," one says, "we just got chased all around Wal-Mart by security."

"What did you do?" asks a fellow student.

"Nothing, man!" the hoodlum protests.

Meanwhile, I glance at Adam. "Let's go to Wal-Mart," I say, and we do.

But before we do, I have to cross the road. That involves taking off those Satanic shoes and running across the pavement in my socks. It reminded me a lot of that scene in Gattaca where Jerome crosses the street without his contacts, and everything's a blur. Only I had my glasses on.

Anyway. We reach Wal-Mart; I put my shoes back on, and we go inside. Within the doors, we look around for any sign that says "Security," but see nothing. So of course we go to the Jewelry desk. Actually, that was the only place where anyone actually seemed to be working. So Adam asks the jewelry lady where we could find security. "They don't really have a headquarters," she says. "They kind of just run around." So Adam tells her about the Taco Bell punks, and she says, "Oh, in that case, go to the exit and there'll be a door to your right. They're in there."

Wow. Top secret, man.

Anyway, we go, and there's a woman standing out front of the door with a labeling gun in her hand. We ask her if this is where security is, and she pauses, obviously trying to think. "Um," she says, "could you please... identify yourselves?"

Adam and I glance at each other, incredulous. "Uh, yeah," says Adam, "the lady from Jewelry sent us over here." He tells her about the TB boys, and she makes a call on her walkie-talkie. After a minute, another woman walks up, and Adam tells her, too, about the guys south of the border. She says thank you, and we leave. We never got to see if the guys got busted; we left Taco Bell as soon as we got back.

So that was fun. There were references made to Adam being Mulder and me being Scully. I don't see much resemblance for either of us, but oh well. It was great anyway.

Yeah. That's all I've got this afternoon... Namar.

2003-05-11T19:08:00.000-05:00

|Wouldja like to take a sur-vay?|

Current Music: Whatever happens to pop into my head.

Current Thought: I've got nothing better to blog--I might as well just cut and paste an entire e-mail survey created by Sam!

Just when you thought it was safe to check your e-mail... Somebody creates an E-mail survey and sends it to everybody. Huzzah.

General Stuff

1. Full Name: Hannah Clemens
2. Birthdate and Time: January 28th, 1984. 7 a.m.-ish.
3. Birthplace: Victorville, California
4. Place of Residence: Missouri
5. Siblings: None. Ha!
6. School and Job: Strangely enough, both involve OTC. I take classes there (but not for much longer--yay!) and I work at the Writing Center. Coolest. Job. Ever.

Specific Favorites:

7. Favorite Dave Matthew's Band Song: Um. Hm. I suppose it's that Where Are You Going one.
8. Favorite U2 Song: All I Want is You, One, and "40".
9. Favorite Goo Goo Dolls Song: Iris
10. Favorite Third Day Song: You're Everywhere
11. Favorite Jars of Clay Song: Love Song for a Savior
12. Favorite Classical Piece: The Planets, Holst.
13. Favorite Painter: Van Gogh and *checks cover of video to see if I've got the spelling right* Pollock.
14. Favorite Action Movie: Well, having just seen X2 again, I'd say that's probably it right now.
15. Favorite Drama Movie: Gattaca
16. Favorite Horror/Thriller Movie: Signs has it all. Thrills, chills, and Joaquin Phoenix hitting an alien with a bat. (*batbatbatbatbat!* "What happened to her?" "She got hurt.")
17. Favorite Classic Movie: You know, I haven't really seen enough of the classics to be able to answer this intelligently.
18. Favorite Science Fiction Movie: The Empire Strikes Back
19. Favorite Fantasy Movie: The Fellowship of the Ring is, I'm afraid, better than The Two Towers. So it's my favorite. However, I'm fairly confident that once Return of the King is out, that will take its place.
20. Favorite Comedy Movie: Dr. Strangelove
21. Favorite Comedy TV Series: The Simpsons
22. Favorite Drama TV Series: The West Wing
23. Favorite Non-fiction Book: Language in Thought and Action, by S.I. Hayakawa
24. Favorite Fiction Book: Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman

A or B:

25. Black or White Clothing: Black.
26. Punk or Goth: Erm... Neither.
27. Chocolate or Vanilla Ice Cream: Vanilla. With chocolate chunks.

Today:

28. List all the places you went today: The church parking lot, the theater, my grandparents' house, all over town with my parents and grandparents trying to find an open Mexican restaurant, and back home.
29. What's the last song you listened to: Warning Sign by Coldplay. Actually, if we're talking full songs, as in, listened to the whole way, Green Eyes by Coldplay. It's been a Rush of Blood to the Head kind of day.
30. What was the last thing you said out loud: I'm sure I said something to my cat, but I can't for the life of me remember what.
31. Who were the last three people to send you e-mail: Sam, Monica, and a girl from Illinois whom I've actually never met in person.
32. What did you have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, respectively: Cereal for breakfast, zip for lunch, and Mexican food for dinner.
33. What time did you wake up today: Well, I started to wake up at about 7:45, but then went back to sleep, having decided that I'd skip church and go to Sunday School. Then I started to get up again at about 9:30, but then I decided to skip Sunday School and just go socialize when the classes get out. So I officially got up at about 11.
34. Name all the friends you have seen in the past 48 hours: 48 hours is a long time to remember. Let's see... That would be from 6:00 today to 6:00 Friday... So, Natalie, Josh, Courtney, nobody on Saturday, Brittany, Delacey, Ashley, Ryan, Josiah, Joel, Adam, Lewis, Daniel, Katrina, and just about everyone who goes to CCC.
35. Did you talk to anyone on the phone today, and if so, who: Dad, telling him that yes, I would be going to dinner with them.

Bonus Questions: (A bonus? Yay!)
36. Are you some kind of robot? No, I am TROG-DORRRRRRRR!!!
37. If so, what kind of powers do you have? Perhaps you did not hear me, for I am TROG-DORRRRRRRRR!!! (Aww, dang, Sam has speed reading! :^P)
38. Do you use them for good, or for awesome? Awesome, for I am TROG-DORRRRRRRR!!!
39. Would you like to team up? Trogdor works alone.
40. Is "The Yellow Dart" a cool nickname? I used to think so, but it just doesn't have the pizazz of "De Inchredible Nightchrawler," said with a heavy Munich accent. It's still a heckuva lot better than Jubilee, though.
41. How many decimal places can you recite pi out to? 3.14... Yeah, that's it.
42. What is your name? Trog-DORRRRRRRRRR!!!
43. What is your quest? To BURNINATE!!! And not get ARROWED! Or SWORDED! Or CHILDREN!
44. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Sam, you have no life. Um, it's not very fast. In fact, it's not fast enough to escape TROG-DORRRRRR!!!
45. What is the capital of Assyria? Gosh, thanks, Sam, for including the answer. Um, just for kicks and giggles, I'll say Zion. Hah!
46. What is your favorite color? Indigo.
47. Were there any swallows in Scene 24? Didn't they cut Scene 24?
48. How many times does a swallow have to beat its wings to maintain airspeed velocity? Not fast enough to escape TROG-DORRRRRRRR!!!
49. Are strange women lying in ponds a basis for a system of government? Hey, whatever keeps Saddam out of power.
50. What is an anarcho-syndicalist commune? You know, I'm not quite sure. But I've got a funny story. During the movie this afternoon, Ryan tried to quote Nightcrawler, but instead of "In ze Munich Circus, dey uzed to call me De Inchredible Nightcrawler," he said, "In certain communic circles, they called me..." It was pretty funny.

Survey Deconstructionism:
51. Say the thing you like least about the person who sent you this survey: Ooh. We could be here a while. ;^P
52. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much of a waste of time was this survey? Wait, which one means "a total and complete waste of time"? Because I'd pick the opposite, as this is the only thing keeping me from typing Mom's finals right now.
53. Nobody cares what your favorite color is, really. Shouldn't this be stated in the form of a question?

Yay. Namar.

2003-05-10T13:27:00.000-05:00

|...and I'd like to stay that way.|

Current Music: I'm Sensitive, Jewel (stuck in my head, because, well, see below)

Current Thought: Erg. Slept 'til 1. Sooooo lethargic...

Okay, Michael, so Natalie's guy is one of only two left in the lower 48. We know, you're very sensitive (and you'd like to stay that way). And yes, it's a pity for anyone of the female persuasion that you're unavailable. :^P ;^)

By the way, how come you never wrote me any poetry? Huh? I mean, at least I got a character to myself in Michael's Day of Anarchy, and I'm greatful and all (seeing as I'm one of maybe five people that survived that story, out of a cast of dozens), but where's my sonnet?

*grumble mumble*

Anyway. It's now time for me to mope around the house because I can't go biking around town today because it could become a deluge at any second. Will these blasted storms never cease?

Namarie.

2003-05-09T10:49:00.000-05:00

|Man-- I feel like a woman.|

Current Music: Song from title, stuck in my head. Thanks a lot, Enoch. Oh, and Weezer's Sweater Song.

Current Thought: Umm. Yay.

Well, I must say that Laura's list of superpowers doesn't quite blow mine away... seeing as four of her five choices can also be found in my list, and I wouldn't even want the fifth one. Blades emerging from knuckles are so uncool that they had to cast Hugh Jackman just to balance it out. (And speed reading is not a dorky power, Laura! And I'm sorry, but do you really think Pyro was hot? Ewwwwww... Lousy Anakin ripoff, and they couldn't even cast someone attractive. Not that Anakin was attractive. You all probably already know my opinions on that.)

Now, blades emerging from fingernails, on the other hand... *cracks knuckles*

Anyway. Enough super powers.

Wednesdays are cool. In fact, they're probably the coolest part of any given week for me. I have no school on Wednesdays, and I can sleep really late because work doesn't start 'til 12:30. (Side note: Only two days left for the Writing Center. *sniffle*) And on top of all that coolness, I get youth group in the evening. So yes, Wednesdays are the best.

This Wednesday was decent-- there was some general suckage balanced by much coolness. I won't go into the suckage, except to say that some people are insensitive arseholes who make my life hell. But the coolness was great--Josiah and I had a conversation, the first one in quite some time, and that was lots of fun. And Hannah M. and I discussed how that day should have been National Pick On Hannah Day, on which everyone finds someone named Hannah and screws them over. Start planning for next year, everybody!

Oh, and we also told Natalie how monumentally fortunate she is, and she doesn't even know it. And she was like, "But he doesn't even like me!" And we were like, "Natalie, hon, he ran up a flight of stairs to get you a glass of milk, and you didn't even ask him to." And that was fun, if a little depressing. Why can't any wonderful, sensitive, thoughtful, caring, talented guys go to, say, my school? In fact, I think the guy in question is quite probably the only one of his kind left in Missouri, and perhaps in the lower 48 as well. Good thing I'm going to Dublin.

I think I've got mono. I've been incapable of getting up before 9 a.m. ever since coming home from Nationals. My alarm sounds, and I reset it for half an hour later. Then it sounds again, and I reset it once more. I do that an average of three times every morning. It can't be healthy, and it sure ain't normal. If I'm going to work at 7 a.m. every day (and probably biking there, too) I'd better get out of that habit.

Well, that's all for now. Ciao, and baleeted! I mean, namar.

2003-05-05T10:33:00.000-05:00

|Storm of the Century (don't sue, Stephen King!)|

Current Music: The last thing that was on the Writing Center stereo (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: Neil Gaiman still hasn't posted my plug of Wandering Star. Sigh.

Yesterday was interesting. It all started with church that morning. After the CCC service, I had to go over to E Free (my old church) where they were honoring the Bible Quizzers for their Nationals achievements. And as I sat through worship and then through communion, I found myself thinking about how much the place had started to remind me of U2's Zoo TV tour. Seriously. Strange stuff.

Anyway. After that, I started to drive home, but just before I got there I decided I should go by CCC to see if anyone was still there. And as I drove into the parking lot, Brittany came up and announced that the Mercers were having a luncheon for the college-age group and the graduating seniors. And she didn't have a ride at the moment, so I brought her over, which was turning the tables a bit as, not too long ago, she was the one shipping me all over the place.

But anyway. Off we drove, and hung out at the Mercers for a while. Around 2 or so, I called Sam to see what he was up to, and he said he'd drive out to meet us. Shortly after that, Delacey fairly begged me to go pick up Joel, so she and Adam got into my car and we drove over to his house. And all the way, they were fawning over my car (which really isn't that cool, so don't believe what you hear) and singing along with Jimmy Eat World on my CD player. Great fun.

As we reached a major intersection, we saw two middle-aged women in muumuus on the traffic island holding signs. One said "Win Without War," and I didn't catch the other one. And Adam watched these people, and I could see his fingers twitching. "Man," he said, "what I wouldn't give for a water gun." Then he checked in his wallet. "Wanna go to Wal-Mart?" he asked with a grin.

We picked up Joel, and then I went to the ATM to get some gas money. It happened to be the same ATM where I lost my ATM card back on Valentine's Day (see February 15th's post). And I put in the card and tried it, but it once again refused to accept my PIN number. This time, however, I managed to save my card from digestion by the evil machine, and it was off to Wal-Mart, where Adam was sorely disappointed by the shoddy selection of water guns, and we ended up not buying anything. My card, however, worked at their ATM. So I had to pay an extra $1.50, but it was worth it to keep my card.

After Wal-Mart, I got some gas in the car and we drove back to the Mercer's, where Sam had already arrived. And we hung around there for a while, walking in the nifty fields behind the house and sitting around the living room. (Sam wrote in my journal, but nothing dirty like what he wrote in Natalie's--just some random U2 lyrics.) We mulled over what to do next, then finally went over to Brittany's, where we had just started to watch an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation when Amy arrived and announced that the worst storm this town has seen in a long time was headed for us, and would be there in about a half hour. There was mention of three tornados, or something like that. So I prepared to head home, and Amy, Brittany and I suggested Sam either come to my house or Natalie's, and not try to drive the half hour out to his house. But, as usual, it fell on rather deaf and stubborn ears. I went home praying that God wouldn't take him out for his bullheadedness.

Once home, I packed a duffel bag (which was mostly filled with CDs and library books that I didn't want to be destroyed) and brought it, along with my sleeping bag and pillow, down to the basement. Then I convinced Dad to get the frogs out of their tank and into a carrying container, which he was loath to do, but his compassion for living things overruled his sense of self-preservation and we spent five minutes scooping them out. Then we sat around with the TV and the police scanner on, and waited.

My house, as I may have already mentioned, is eleven minutes from everywhere in this town. And eleven minutes south of us, at least one tornado touched down, wiping out entire neighborhoods and wreaking mass havoc. Natalie lives down there. The Mc_______s live down there. And Laura lives down there, which worries me because I tried calling her after things had died down, and there was no answer. Nor has she replied to my e-mail, but if the phone lines were out (which they probably are) that would be impossible for her anyway. Laura, if you're reading this, call me!

So things fizzled out. The storm made its way in the general direction of Sam's house, and when I tried calling them, there was once more no answer. Big surprise. So then, around 9:30, Amy called me and said that Sam's parents were calling everyone, trying to find him. And we couldn't find him anywhere. By about 10:00, I was ready to get in my car and drive the thirty miles of highway and look for him but luckily Amy called and announced that he'd been at Eryn's house the whole time. And she added that he was ticked off at all of us for being so concerned over him.

Yeah. That's right. Like it's our fault.

Anyway. I'm stewing over that now, but I'm still happy. Over the weekend I saw X2, which was surprisingly good. And afterwards I made a list of the top ten attributes I'd like to have as a mutant. As per Laura's request, you'll find them below:

10. Indestructibility/Immortality (that's the good, Elvish kind of immortality, not the bad Tuck Everlasting/vampire kind)
9. Teleportation
8. Manipulation of metal
7. Freezing things
6. Burning things
5. Controlling people's thoughts
4. Super senses
3. Cloaking ability
2. Shapeshifting
1. Speed reading (What? It can be a mutant ability!)

So there you go. My definitive list. That's it for me this afternoon; I'm spent. Namar.

2003-05-01T14:14:00.000-05:00

|La dee da...|

Current Music: Snatches of whatever happens to pop into my head at any moment.

Current Thought: I'm sick.

Well, I've gone and done it--I plugged Michael's Wandering Star in an e-mail to Neil Gaiman.

Dear Neil,

As I sit in computer class watching a PowerPoint presentation on
Alanis Morrisette, I thought I'd drop you a line and let you know how
much I'm enjoying your blog. Also, for the sake of recommending
links, I'll plug one by a friend of mine. It's Wandering Star, and
you'll find it at http://www.berenwasteland.com/wanderingstar.

Wandering Star is a web narrative, written mainly in real time, and
it has a bit of an American Gods flavor to it. I thought it might be
right up your alley.

Again, thanks for creating such a wonderful blog and a great
collection of fiction.

--Hannah

(The PowerPoint presentation wasn't that bad, but I've been wanting to e-mail Neil for quite some time, and we were in a computer lab, for crying out loud.)

It remains to be seen whether he will post said plug on his weblog, but he's done it before. And if he does, it means that my site and Michael's will be getting lots and lots of traffic. Here's hoping. Namar.

2003-05-01T10:38:00.000-05:00
|More happiness|

Current Music: Dirty Day, U2

Current Thought: Mm, school...

Well, I've just discovered that this site looks like digital crap on Netscape Navigator. I apologize to all who have to view the Blogarama this way, but you all should really get Internet Explorer, or at least Mozilla, anyway. I mean, really. If I was stuck with Netscape, I'd probably go insane. Everything's different! What are these strange fonts? Why does my page look like this?!

Anyway. Unfortunately Netscape is the only working browser in the computer lab this morning, so I'll just have to deal with it. But there's some happiness to cancel it out--the personnel coordinator for the job I want called yesterday (I missed the call, dangit) and wants to set up an interview. They say they'll probably start me training from 7a.m. to 3 p.m., which would be absolutely fantastic as it would leave msot of my afternoon and all my evenings intact to hang out with friends and go see Ben and Sam's gigs and so on. And I'll still be able to get more than half of my Dublin cash over the summer. Yay for Hannah!

Anyway. Before I sign off, I'll plug Sam's new webcolumn--Pianists and Pilgrims. Everybody go read. It's good stuff.

Namarie.

2003-04-30T12:52:00.000-05:00
|Happiness has occured|

Current Music: Actually, nothing particular is stuck in my head right now, and there's nothing on the Writing Center stereo. It's kinda liberating.

Current Thought: Yay.

Okay, so I found out yesterday that Dublin in the summer costs half as much as Dublin in the spring and fall, which means: a) I'll have more time to make money, b) I'll have to make less money, and c) I'll be able to coach Bible Quiz all the way through Nationals. And if I get the full-time job I'm shooting for this summer, I'll be able to get most of my money taken care of in the next three months. How cool is that?

Unfortunately, Dublin in the summer is also half as long as Dublin in the spring and fall-- only six weeks, and nine credits. But that's okay. I can deal with that. There's still a trip to Italy included, and six weeks is long enough to see U2 live.So yay! Happiness!

And more happiness abounds--yesterday, at Laura's suggestion, I downloaded WinMX (since my parents made me delete KaZaA because of its ScumWare properties), and discovered that there's a buttload of live concerts and very rare MP3s available for download. I got a U2 New York concert from mid-2000 (in which Bono said something rather odd and slightly prophetic about the crowd being "cooler than a 747 on your front lawn"), and I'm working on the two parts of the Zooropa homecoming Dublin show.

And speaking of Dublin (again), I found out early last week that over 50% of Dublin's population is under 25 years old. How can I go wrong? I'm gonna love that place.

But for now, it's back to earning money. Namar.

2003-04-29T12:53:00.000-05:00
|I feel much better now.|

Current Music: Twilight, U2 (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: Freeeeeeeeedoooooommm!!!

Wow. So many cool things, so little time to tell. First of all, now that Bible Quiz Nationals has been over for two days, I figure I might as well let you know that Tsunami won first place. Yes, that's right. Won. First place. Out of 64 teams. And it was by a margin of 10 points that we finally did it (each question is worth 20 points, to illustrate just how close that was). But what's really cool is this: By the end of Saturday, when we had the championship quizzes, over half the room--that's more than two hundred people--were cheering for us. It was unbelievable.

But then there was even cooler stuff. Godspeed, the only other Springfield team, came in tenth place, which was phenomenal. Charissa from Godspeed was the #3 individually ranked quizzer, out of over 400 teenagers. And a really awesome team won the Christian Character Award, but we found out the next day that Tsunami was just one vote behind them.

So all that was very, very cool. And then we all came home, and the return trip kinda sucked for various reasons, but riding with Marie and Melissa was fun. And yesterday I went to work (after skipping my two morning hours in favor of relaxing at home), and then came back and played guitar and then got an application for the library and went to Natalie's, where I played some more guitar and watched a really bloody awful movie called The Worst Witch, of which Harry Potter is very obviously a blatant ripoff. And then after that Natalie's parents kicked everyone out of the basement and we went over to Linzy's apartment, which is very cool. And I was seriously considering getting my own apartment this summer, since I'd be able to afford it without taking too big of a chunk out of my Dublin money, but then I realized that I'd miss the Internet too much, and then I realized that I'd have no money left for groceries, which are somewhat necessary. So I'll just stay home this summer.

Oh, and some important decisions have been made, namely: Instead of going to Dublin in the spring of 2004, I have decided to go in summer instead, thus giving me extra time to earn the $10,000 I'll need, and also allowing me to coach a Bible Quiz team all the way through Nationals, something I desperately want to do. So it's all good. I'll be in this town for an extra six months or so, but when I finally do get to Dublin, it'll be all the sweeter.

Anyway. It's nearly time for math class, and before that I have to talk to my teacher about meeting with her on Thursday to go over the stuff I missed last week. So I'll be back with more bloggy fun later. Namar.

2003-04-18T11:03:00.000-05:00
Sweet Relief

Current Music: Seven Years, Natalie Merchant

Current Thought: I'd rather be playing guitar.

Just a little update after the fear and dread of yesterday's post. To those who were wondering, it's okay. All is well. And I will live.

Talk at y'all after Nationals. Namar.

2003-04-17T15:41:00.000-05:00
Feeling Strangely Fine

Current Music: Some song of which I don't know the name, but which I've heard several times on the radio, by an artist I've never heard of.

Current Thought: Okay, school's over for the day... Now the hard part starts.

I'm torn. Half of me is so unmeasurably relieved and glad that I said what I said when I said it. The other half is unmeasurably afraid that I have, once more, gone and ruined a perfectly good friendship. But at least I've said it. I did everything I could, and it's not up to me anymore.

Do you have any idea how good that feels?

On that note, I have to say a huge thank you to Natalie. The letter I wrote you was therapeutic, and the conversation we had was even better. You told me what I had to do to change things, and I hope I did the same for you (in a totally unrelated situation, of course). That, coupled with some very fervent last-minute prayer (along the lines of, "Sweet God in heaven, what in Your holy name am I going to say?!"), gave me a lot of courage. And have I mentioned that I'm happy for you? No, I probably haven't. Well, I'm mentioning it now.

I don't think the person I spoke to last night expected me to say what I said. I don't think I expected me to say what I said, but I said it, and that's what counts. That excruciating, heartbreaking part of my life is finally over, and I think I can begin to move on.

Anyway. Y'all may not hear from me for a while; things are gonna get real hectic real soon. After Bible Quiz Nationals, I'll have a bit more time to post and converse and update. So for now, thanks for reading, and namar.

2003-04-16T12:30:00.000-05:00
A Week of Dreams (with apologies to Michael)

Current Music: The Valley Song, Jars of Clay (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: I've never been so depressed in my life.

Last night:

I dreamt that my cat, Minnie, had kittens. And they were all mini-Minnies, except for one that was all brown with a few black spots thrown in. Also last night, I dreamt that my Bible Quiz team went to a cabin on the lake, and there was a dinky little gift shop/antique store nearby, and inside I found a rack of vinyl records. Among them were several rare and collectible U2 EPs and LPs, with songs I'd never heard of before, and cover pictures of the band when they were teenagers. And I found myself blessed with quite a bit of money with which to purchase these little black circular gems, and just as I was making my valuable selections, I woke up. Oh, pain. Oh, irony. I wish I could live in dreams.

Night before last:

I dreamt that I and the rest of my youth group went to a big party at the Williams' house. And we were all hanging out, and it was cool, until I looked in the driveway and realized that not only was my Camry there, but my parents' Stratus was as well. Oh crap, I thought, how am I going to get both cars home? Then, to add insult to injury, I realized that the Axons' Isuzu (which now somehow belonged to us) was also there. So I had to get three cars home. And then I tried calling my parents on Natalie's cell phone, but her phone was like some complicated computer, and when I dialed their number, it started playing jazz music. So I tried it on Luke L.'s phone, and that didn't work either. And the last thing I remember was that I was driving the Stratus and Natalie was behind me in the Camry, and we were on the highway, and that was it.

Namarie.

2003-04-14T13:15:00.000-05:00
Life is a carnival...

Current Music: Grateful Dead (I think), on the Writing Center stereo.

Current Thought: I'm done with Political Science homework! Yessss!!!

Yesterday I saw Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the first time, beginning to end. It wasn't exactly the festival of hilarity that everyone I know seems to think it is. I liked it, don't get me wrong, but I was kinda disappointed. Minute-for-minute, I think Dr. Strangelove was funnier.

Anyway. Yesterday, I also had a little impromptu debate with Katrina about acting skills. Specifically the acting skills of Tom Cruise and Keanu Reeves, and which one actually has acting skills. My vote went to Cruise, but mostly because he's the lesser of two evils. I simply despise Reeves in every film he's ever been in. And everyone else at church agreed with me, but Katrina and her mother seem to have some strange attachment to Keanu, and insist that he beats Cruise any day of the week. *sigh* There's just no accounting for taste anymore.

So. Also on yesterday, I went to rehearsal and then hung out afterwards waiting for Sam to arrange the trip to Jhan's house to watch Monty Python. Then I tried calling Natalie to get her to come along as well, and she somehow managed to turn my well-intentioned invitation into something along the lines of "I've got work to do, and you're immature and irresponsible, and you don't think about other people." I'm really pissed now. I mean, really. It's stewing. It really is.

Well, enough about yesterday-- let's talk about today. Today I came to work, and I've spent most of that time doing homework for Political Science that's due tomorrow. But now I'm done, done, done, and free, free, free! I was gonna cut out early and go sit in the car for an hour and eat cookies, but I'm not sure who else is gonna be working from 1:30 to 2:30, so I'll probably just stick around and get my cookies afterward. Yippee.

Until next time, namar.

2003-04-07T10:32:00.000-05:00
|Watching history|

Current Music: Classical, on the Writing Center stereo. And God Put a Smile Upon Your Face, Coldplay (still stuck in my head)

Current Thought: I'm at work. Whee.

So I realized after I posted yesterday's entry that I didn't actually say anything about yesterday. Shame on me. Okay. Yesterday was cool. I slept through my alarm (if it even went off) and didn't get up until 9:25. Then I spent a little while trying to figure out whether or not I should go to Sunday school, having already missed church, and I finally decided to have a leisurely morning and not get all stressed out. So I ate breakfast, took a shower, and decided to go to Wal-Mart and buy A Rush of Blood to the Head, since I finally had money.

Off I went. Found the CD, and it was two dollars more than I expected (a shocking $13.88, just a little pricey for Wal-Mart), but when I went to check out, it rang up as $9.86. The cashier (who looked disturbingly similar to an older version of Adam Clayton) joked that he would gladly charge me $13.88, but I demurely declined, and I bought Coldplay's second CD for the same price I paid for their first CD. I love Wal-Mart.

So then I went across the street to Circuit City, where a friend had bought his awesome car stereo CD player for $35 (it was a box return), and I browsed there looking for CD cases and players. Didn't see any unbelievably cheap box returns. In fact, most of their CD players were unbelievably expensive. Oh, well.

Finally it was off to the church, where I sat in my car in the rain waiting for rehearsal to start. Katrina came and sat with me for a while, and we listened to ARoBttH. Then Katrina's mom came and they went to get food, and I drove to McDonald's for a Filet o' Fish. (Side note: Is the "o'" some sort of reference to the Irish, and if so, what does it have to do with fish? And why is there a reference to the Irish at a restaurant with a Scottish name? If I were Irish--would that it were so-- and my last name was O'fish, I'd name my kid Filly.) Anyway. Then I came back and went to rehearsal, which was total chaos but tons of fun. A highlight from the day... Sam: "Yes, we must go to see Jesus in Galilee." Matt: (ad libbing) "Did you get the tickets?"

After that, it was off to Matt's surprise birthday party. Matt and his family live a little ways out of town, amongst the green rolling hills and cow-dotted fields. So I was driving along to the sounds of Coldplay, enjoying the beauty of the landscape, and I looked in my rearview mirror in time to see Amy and Matt in Amy's car behind me. Oh crap, I thought, he'll recognize my car. I should have kept driving past their driveway and then doubled back so as not to ruin the element of surprise... but instead, I waved. Stupid, yes. Funny, too. The element of surprise wasn't ruined too much in advance-- before long we reached their house, and everyone else's cars were in the driveway.

The party was fun. I got to play with the Whites' amazing collection of Legos. (They had a Lego elephant. An elephant! And not just one, but two! I was in heaven!) Then we watched an episode of the original Star Trek series on cable, and it happened to be the episode that had the first ever interracial kiss on TV. Wow. That was something.

Anyway. I came home, did quiz, sat around, listened to Coldplay, and went to bed. And that was Sunday.

Namarie.

2003-04-06T22:11:00.000-05:00
|Your guess is as good as mine...|

Current Music: God Put a Smile Upon Your Face, Coldplay (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: Gah... I have to go to work tomorrow.

Well, it looks as though Sam finally caved and got a weblog. Good for him. Everybody go read it!

So it's been a pretty good week. Saturday was a quiz tournament in St. Louis, and Tsunami did all right... The trip up and back was fun. I listened to Coldplay's A Rush of Blood to the Head the entire time. Yes, I still love that CD. In fact, I finally bought it today with some money my grandparents spontaneously gave me. Hooray! It's mine, all mine... my precioussssss...

In other news, the Pirates of the Caribbean trailer is up. Huzzah! That movie's gonna suck, but it will be so funny... and of course, there's Orlando to balance out the suckiness. :^D

Anyway. That's it for me tonight... Fare thee well, and namar.

2003-04-02T13:44:00.000-06:00
|Wow, that kinda sorta maybe almost makes up for it.|

Current Music: Umm... various snippets of different stuff that pops into my head and then disappears almost instantly.

Current Thought: I'm still gonna kill Sam.

So early this morning I started having a really really good dream. I mean really good. You know why?

Joaquin Phoenix was in it.

That's right. So yes, I'm happy. And it wasn't just that he was in it-- the dream itself was really cool. All ethereal and, well, dreamy. Like a Francesca Lia Block novel. I remember very little of it now, but it was quite beautiful.

And it's not the first Joaquin dream I've had this week... It's quite odd. I think he might be a metaphor for someone else. But I'm not complaining-- I'm just enjoying it while it happens.

Anyway. Come tomorrow, we'll know how Operation Kill Sam went. I'll keep you posted. Namar.

2003-04-01T17:42:00.000-06:00
|That little dork.|

Current Music: Carnival, by Natalie Merchant (stuck in my head from trying to learn the solo)

Current Thought: He may not be dead yet, but I'm gonna kill him.

Well, after seeing this, I think my lifespan has lost a few years. (Those probably aren't the only years that Sam has taken off my life... but it's certainly the most at one time.) So anyway, yes. Sam will officially die now. I will kill him for giving me such a scare.

By the way, happy April Fool's Day, everyone.

Okay, so yeah. Time to update you all on the exciting developments in my life. This last weekend was Bible Quiz Regionals in St. Joseph, and Tsunami did a phenomenal job. We won every quiz, and at one on Friday night we broke 800 points. It was nifty. We took 1st place over all, and all placed very high individually. Nevermind that I had a cold the whole time (and still do). It was awesome.

So then I got home and my cousin, who is a manager a local grocery-type corporation, called to inform me that said corporation is going to hire college students for the summer months to do fill-in work for the folks on vacation. It's gonna be about 37 hours a week, plus overtime. And they pay $10 an hour. So that's nifty. I've got an application ready to go, and I'll be taking that over this weekend.

Anyway. The rest of my time recently has been spent on homework and guitar, trying to figure out the solo in Natalie Merchant's Carnival. I'm gonna master that song if it kills me... and it probably will. (Grey hairs from Sam acting like he's dead; grey hairs from guitar... pretty soon I'll have ulcers and crap like that.)

And that's about it for now... Mom just got home, so I'm off to deliver my application and spend the rest of the evening working with Michael on his next web project. Fare thee well, and Namarie.

2003-03-22T21:15:00.000-06:00
|Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored...|

Current Music: The soundtrack to Powaqqatsi, Philip Glass

Current Thought: See post title.

Last night I dreamt that I dyed my hair blue. I've been wanting to dye my hair blue for the longest time. It looked really cool in my dream.

Anyway. Today was a Bible Quiz tourney, and St. Louis' teams actually came to us this time, instead of the other way around. It went all right. We won some, we lost some. That is, after all, how it goes.

Afterwards I tried calling Sam, who had told Jhan that it was very likely he'd go to the quiz, but never showed up. Sam didn't answer his cell phone. Big surprise. I left a message and told him to call me at home. He didn't. I've tried calling several times since then, but always to no avail. Where is that boy? I'm bored out of my skull and he's off somewhere without his cell phone on! Doesn't he know it's Saturday?

Erm. Yes. Well. I came home in time to greet my parents and their friend, Nancy, who's visiting from Kansas City, before they left for dinner at an Indian restaurant. Then I came in and blasted Coldplay's Clocks on the computer's subwoofer, which sounded fantastic. (Subwoofers rock. Gateway computers rock. Coldplay rocks.) I really need to buy that CD. I really need money to buy that CD. (On a side note, Hannah's Rules For Knowing When You Really Need To By a CD, #18: Spend a weekend driving around with a friend who listens to one CD, and only one CD, the whole time. If at the end of the weekend you still like the CD, buy it.)

In other news, I learned to play Norah Jones' Come Away With Me this evening, which is nice and easy to play, but a little low in my range. I might go back to the transposed, higher version I found online, for ease in vocal flexibility. Both versions sound really good on my Fender, and once I've got Natalie playing piano along with it, I'm sure it'll be just lovely. Now I just have to learn the impossible solo.

Okay, I think that's all I can stand to type right now. Until next time, UP THE IRONS!!! Err, I mean, umm... Namarie.

2003-03-21T15:52:00.000-06:00
|Real Life Poetry (Finally!)|

Current Music: Bullet the Blue Sky, U2 (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: Three updates in one day. A new record, methinks.

When he told me it was true
I could have said something comforting.
I could have reached out to take his hand
Or touch his shoulder or his brow,
Wrinkled with remorse and shame.
I could have put my arms around him
And let him do what he had to,
To cry or scream or beg forgiveness.
I could have and should have done
Any number of things
To show that I still cared, that I forgave him
That I wouldn't hold it against him.
But I didn't do any of those things.
Instead I turned around
And went back inside where there was light,
And I left him outside, alone in the rain.

written 3/19/03

Namar.

2003-03-21T14:24:00.000-06:00
|If PlayMash.com says so, it must be true.|

Current Music: Bleed American, Jimmy Eat World (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: See below.

Okay, I guess it's set in stone now:

I will live in a house.
I will drive a yellow Mustang.
I will marry Sam and have 4 kids.
I will be a Presidential Speechwriter in Berlin.

Thanks for the link, Mark. Though I have to wonder which president I'll be speechwriting for in Berlin.

Still to come: Real Life Poetry. Again.

Namarie.

2003-03-21T10:16:00.000-06:00
|Things to be thankful for|

Current Music: NPR Morning Edition discussion of whether Saddam is dead or alive.

Current Thought: This is cool. People at work are discussing religion. I love when this happens!

It's been a decent couple of weeks. Sunday before last, Laura called and told me that I still had a check waiting at the Popcorn Capitol of Hades. I went in to get it, and it was almost $25. What a lovely surprise. That paid for several things over the week. That Friday was payday for the WC, and I was finally able to pay off my guitar. It's miiiiiiiiiine. My own... my preciousssssss.

Erg, anyway. Don't remember much of the last week except the weekend, which is what I usually remember of the week anyway. Hung out with Natalie and her friends last Friday, and went to a high school art exhibition at the museum, where Janae had a couple photos. Then we went back to Nat's house and played music, and I couldn't sing and could hardly breathe because I had a rib out. But I played guitar a lot and practiced some songs, so it was all good.

On Saturday, I was bored for most of the day, but then I hung out with Sam, Brittany, and Delacey that evening. We went to the park and hung out there until the sun set and the mosquitos started to attack, and then we went to Barnes & Noble and I got an awesome book of photos of Scotland, and we sat around in the coffee shop and took a personality test that was pretty accurate for the first couple of factors, but the last one was totally bogus. It said Sam was a stable, quiet person. Hah. Hah. Hah.

Anyway. Sunday was rehearsal for the church play that I'm in, and that went well. Then we went to Eryn's house, where a bunch of folks showed up and we all watched Addicted to Love and sat around and quoted Homestar Runner. This last week was part crap, part happiness. I'm glad it's Spring Break now. Ben's coming back from Illinois this coming week, so I fully intend to take several days and hang out with him and the usual gang. Unfortunately I'll be at Bible Quiz Regionals on Friday and Saturday, so I'll miss Ben and Sam's gig. Dang it. They were gonna do Yellow, too. And Sam will be singing for the first time at a gig. So suckage.

Anyway. Here I am at work, on the last day before Spring Break, and actually it's already started for me because I have class on Tuesday and Thursday only. Hah! That's right, suckers!

Wow. Now there's like seven people in the WC, and six of them are consultants. Oh, wait, Doug just left. Make six people, and five of them are consultants. Yes, it's the last Friday before Spring Break. Welcome to a college Writing Center. My day will be nice and boring. I'm gonna go over to Natalie's again tonight and play music. This time I'll be able to sing. Huzzah!

Okay, that's all for now. Real Life Poetry to come. Namar.

2003-03-07T13:26:00.000-06:00
|Edit|

Current Music: Same crappy muzak.

Current Thought: Finally!

Looks like I spoke too soon-- the Stuff of the Month is updated! Huzzah!

Now all I have to worry about is my soon-to-be-cancelled account. ;^) Namar.

2003-03-07T13:22:00.000-06:00
|Wheeeeeeee!|

Current Music: Really irritating easy-listening muzak on the Writing Center stereo. Directly behind me. Want... to... break...stereo... but... boss... is... in... room! Argh!!!

Current Thought: Funny how, just when you think it's safe to check your e-mail, somebody sends you a forwarded survey.

Muahahahah. I am now the Keeper of Merrill's Elegant Discourse On How Removing His Gum At The Last Minute Saved Him From A Traumatic Experience That Would Have Scarred Him For Life. I love joaquin-phoenix.net.

Okay, so the other day I noticed that homestarrunner.com was going to release a Trogdor the Burninator t-shirt very soon, and today when I checked, the shirt is available for purchase. And I was thinking, great, now I know what to get Sam for his birthday! (Sam loves Trogdor.) But then I saw that the shirt is a limited edition Shirt of the Month, and will only be sold this month. Sam's birthday is in December. Sigh.

So I sent him the link. At least he knows about it now. And by the end of the month I just know I'll see him at youth group with a Trogdor shirt. Sigh.

Speaking of monthly stuff, the Book of the Month, Movie of the Month, and CD of the month still refuses to properly update. So now there are two Books, Movies, and CDs of the Month. Dang that HTML stuff. And dang Blogger. Dang it to heck.

Wait, wait, I didn't mean it! Don't cancel my account! Please?

And speaking of Blogger (I'm just chock full of segues today), I noticed their nifty new MP3-hosting service for audio blog entries. It sounded pretty cool, and then I saw that it costs money to do it. Figures. But really, it wouldn't be that hard to do something like that using a free hosting service with a goodly portion of space. Record your message as a .wav file, then use a program like GoldWave to convert it and save it as a low-kbps MP3 file, then upload it to your hosting service. Easy, nifty, and completely free.

Okay, now they're really going to cancel my account. Namar.

2003-03-05T13:24:00.000-06:00
|It's one of those days...|

Current Music: Muddy Waters, on the Writing Center stereo.

Current Thought: Trog-DORRRRRR!!!

It's 1:15. There's nobody at the Writing Center save for my boss and three other consultants. I tried to sit down and write for a while, but it just wasn't in me. Eventually I drew a picture of Trogdor the Burninator on a Post-It note. Then I decided to go on my blog and tell everybody that I drew Trogdor on a Post-It note. Then I tried to update my Movie of the Month, Book of the Month, and CD of the Month, but for some reason it's refusing to update properly. So yeah. It's a dull, boring, dirty day. And some days are better than others.

Have I mentioned that I haven't stopped listening to Zooropa since I bought it? I don't know why some U2 fans don't like that CD. It's got such a great vibe.

Anyway, yeah. Until next time, Trog-DORRRRRR!!! And namar.

2003-03-03T13:57:00.000-06:00

|Non-Real-Life Poetry... again|

Current Music: Numb, U2

Current Thought: Don't move, don't talk out of time, don't think don't worry everything's just fine...

It was a party
And everyone wore black.
The little girl
Would have been conspicuous
In powder blue
If anyone could see her.
She walked in a forest
Of black slacks and nylon-sheathed legs,
And looked for a while at plates
Of cheese and crackers and vegetable dip
But she wasn't hungry.
She was just bored.
No one at the party
Talked about anything.
They put their arms around
Each other's shoulders
And women cried mascara tears
Into rainy grey Kleenex
And said "Why her?
She was so young
It's not fair; her poor mother
She was such a sweet girl"
The little girl in powder blue
Didn't know who they meant
But she did hear her name
From some of the women, and each time
She turned around
To see if they wanted to talk to her
But they went on crying black.
Her little brother, on the floor with blocks
In a little black suit,
Saw her and waved.
She waved back.
Nearby a fat Aunt
shook with sobs and blew her nose.
The girl looked around the room one more time
And went upstairs to her room.
There was a window by her bed
And through it she could see the pool
Where she had drowned two days before.

Namar.

2003-03-03T12:18:00.000-06:00

|Well, I guess that answers that...|

Current Music: The Wanderer, U2 and Johnny Cash (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat donuts.

It never fails. I ask people en masse to do an incredibly simple task, such as replying to an e-mail or clicking a link that says "Comment on this," and absolutely nothing happens. Hmmph. So that leaves me with two possibilities. Either a) nobody reads this blog, or b) everbody I know reads this blog, but nobody comments. Now it seems to me that there is an equal likelihood of either of these possibilities being true, so Ockham's Razor doesn't really apply. Oh, well. Either way, this brings me to an interesting conclusion: Since nobody reads this blog, I can post whatever I want (as if I don't already). And even if somebody did read this blog, nobody would comment on what I posted! Bwahahahahahahaha! Power, preciousss... it's mine, all miiiiiiine!

Erm. Well. Anyway. Speaking of Gollum and Gollum-relate paraphernalia, yesterday I played Lord of the Rings Risk for the first time ever, and it was pretty dang fun. I took a few territories from Sam and Eryn, and even managed to defeat Loyal and get a slice of Rohan. Unfortunately I had to leave before the game was finished, then waited for fifteen minutes as Mom talked with Eryn's mom, and I cleaned the dust off Sam's license plate.

So yeah. That's about all there is to report. Until next time, don't comment, and Namar.

2003-02-28T12:40:00.000-06:00

|Bwahaha. The rest of you have to wait until 2005.|

Current Music: Miscellaneous Mississippi blues music on the Writing Center's stereo. Good stuff.

Current Thought: La dee da...

So I've seen Episode III. No, really. I didn't go to a private screening. I didn't download it on KaZaA. I didn't buy it in a comic book store. I've seen Episode III.

I dreamt it. And I think it was about as good as George Lucas could ever make it, which, as you can probably guess, was pretty freakin' lame. I know Anakin was in it. Bleh. I know Padme was in it. Bleh. But worst of all, there was no Obi-Wan! The one thing that could have made that dream worth the brain cells it took to generate it was completely and utterly absent! No Ewan! Augh!

Well. Yeah. Sucky dream. The whole thing revolved around one really lame battle that was more like a session of Parliament or something. The movie ended before Luke and Leia were even born. I think if things really happened that way, Warsians would be committing mass hara-kiri in the parking lot. Perhaps the events of last year, and my disappointment with Attack of the Plotless Clones is finally catching up with my subconscious. Whatever the case, I'm ticked. I could have dreamt about U2 or Lord of the Rings or something worthwhile, but noooooooo. My dream had Hayden Christensen.

I think I also dreamt about reading Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses. It was different from what I expected. Like some sort of creepy Harry Potter or The Once and Future King or something.

Anyway. Tonight I get new clothes. Natalie's coming along to pick out shoes for me, and Rachel D. is gonna have to work within the confines of the $100 my parents are giving me. But yay! New clothes!

Unfortunately, we're going to the mall.

So on another note, I just found myself wondering if anyone actually reads this blog. No, really. I have no way of knowing if nobody leaves comments. Ryan has commented, and so have Kathleen and Laura. But that's it. So today I'm gonna do a test. Everybody who reads this post, click on the link below and comment on it. Understand? It's not that hard, really. Just tell me you read. I crave affirmation from my peers.

Now if people are as averse to commenting as my friends are to replying to e-mails, I'll never see a single comment. Namar.

2003-02-27T11:03:00.000-06:00

|Turn your head, and baby just spit me out.|

Current Music: See above. Don't know the name of the song. It's stuck in my head.

Current Thought: Bla bla bla bla bla...

There are two guys in my CIT class, and all they ever talk about is cell phones. Seriously. That's it.

Just thought I'd pass that on. Namar.

2003-02-26T12:27:00.000-06:00

|Blech.|

Current Music: Seven Years, Norah Jones (stuck in my head) / Miscellaneous classical music on the WC's stereo

Current Thought: Wow. I'm posting almost every day now. I must be sick.

Latest development in my recent inability to tape record anything on TV even remotely involving my favorite band: This morning, Bono and Edge were going to be on the Today show. So I had a tape all ready to go, I programmed the VCR, and I politely asked Dad to turn the power on the VCR off after he finished watching his PBS special on fishing boat disasters. He said he would. I went to bed. At 9:30 a.m., I woke up and went downstairs to check on the VCR; I'd set it from 7 to 10. Was it recording? No. Thanks, Dad.

But on a happier note, I got to watch a few clips from the 2003 MusiCares Person Of The Year show, dedicated to Bono. A whole lotta people did U2 covers, and maybe it was the crappy quality of RealPlayer streaming video, but it seemed to me that everyone totally sucked except Norah Jones, who did a fantastic rendition of Stuck in a Moment. Sheryl Crow, meanwhile, attempted All I Want Is You and didn't hit a single note on key-- at least not in the thirty second clip I saw. How depressing.

Well, anyway. That's enough U2 for me today-- except for this quote, from U2 at the End of The World: "It was a bad night to be in U2. It was a bad night to be anywhere near U2. It was a bad night to know how to spell U2."

So. Here I am. Work his not quite started, but I'm sitting in the WC anyway. (Note to any British people who might be reading this-- that's Writing Center, not Water Closet. Yes, I'm aware of the possible confusion, and I rather like it that way. Not that my job is in any way similar to a bathroom, thank God.) Tonight I go early to youth group for worship practice. Tomorrow is another Totally Insane Thursday, followed by Only Mildly Insane Friday, on which I hope to go over to Natalie's house and have our first ever band practice. Then comes Homework-Filled Saturday, on which I hope to go to the mall and get a new wardrobe, which may be difficult as Mom and Dad are only giving me $100 to do so. Luckily I'm taking Rachel D., a notorious bargain-hunter, with me. So there's my week in advance. I'm still sick, but doing much better. And aside from the morning's disappointments, I'm doing pretty dang good today.

And that's all I have to say about that. Namar.

2003-02-25T11:10:00.000-06:00

|I'm the evil genius in somebody's dream.|

Current Music: Grace, U2

Current Thought: Being sick sucks.

So one of my co-workers at the Writing Center greeted me this morning with the sentence, "I had a dream about you last night." Well, seeing as I don't really know this girl all that well, it understandably freaked me out to hear her say that. I very cautiously replied, "You did?" and she proceeded to tell me how she dreamt that I was sitting in the WC with the Tribal Journal, and I would write for a while, and then look up at everybody else and smile kind of eerily. And it turned out that what I was writing was, in a freaky Sphere/Myst sort of way, coming true, and my co-workers were battling their deepest fears and things like that.

Wow. I had no idea I had the power to manifest stuff.

Anyway, yeah. That was the highlight of my morning. I'm sick today, as I was sick yesterday, and sick Sunday, and sick for about half of Saturday after a really really awful day at Iowa Quiz Regionals. My team had a fantastic day on Friday, winning every quiz. Spike quizzed out (five correct) every time on Friday. Then, after one quiz on Saturday, we just couldn't do anything right. We missed every quiz that would have gotten us into the top three. We took third place at least two times, and got 6th out of 30 teams. Not bad, you might say, but we wanted 1st. It was pretty crappy.

However, it was very, very cool to see By Faith finally earn the By Faith name (they've been Unit 7 up 'til now) and then go on to win the stage quiz. They did awesome this weekend. In one quiz on Friday, they scored 810 to another team's 10. The most one team can get in one quiz is 830. Everyone on Unit 7 quizzed out, and five people quizzed out with a perfect score (no errors). So yeah, it was fun to see our favorite St. Louis team kick butt.

Mmm, class has started. Time to learn about Microsoft Excel. Namar.

2003-02-19T13:37:00.000-06:00

|Return of the Plot Bunnies|

Current Music: Some James Brown song that my boss is whistling.

Current Thought: Work is good. Pay is good. Food is good.

Okay, so I've got this idea... This morning, through a series of twisted links in various people's weblogs, I stumbled upon the site of a person with Dissociative Identity Disorder. (Or at least, that's what the person would have you believe-- some of what she wrote was so surreal that I suspected it might be fiction.) The individual wrote about her "alters," or other personalities, and the process of coping with them.

So I started doing a little research, and slowly a plot formed in my mind. What if this character, probably a woman, has DID? And what if, gradually, one at a time, her alters start appearing as real people? You know, she sees Fern, a little old matronly woman, behind the counter at a used bookstore or something, or she runs into Astrid, a five-year-old girl, at a park, or Doyle, a teenage goth-punk boy, in a dance club. And finally, towards the end of the story, she meets Isaac, who's been her imaginary best friend since she was too young to talk.

And here's the kicker-- she recognizes all these people, people she's had with her for most of her life, but they, of course, don't recognize her. But she introduces herself, makes friends with them, and as she does, they cease to visit her in her mind. By meeting the real people, she is cured of her alters. It'd be kinda like A Beautiful Mind without all the math. Now, I've yet to decide if I should add a cruel twist at the end, that these "real" people are just the next stage in the main character's sickness, and they're still figments of her imagination, like Parcher, Charles and Marcy to John Nash. That would be incredibly depressing, and a bit too much of a ripoff for my tastes. I think I'll just make it a happy ending. Now I just have to figure out how to do that without making it sappy.

Whew. Anyway. That's my creativity-spurt for the afternoon. I go to ponder now. Namarie.

2003-02-17T15:04:00.000-06:00

|Snatching every possible minute|

Current Music: Lightning Crashes, Live

Current Thought: Type, type, type. That's all I ever do.

All I have to say is, this is beautiful.

To those with slow connections, I'm sorry, but I had to share the joy. Namarie.

2003-02-15T21:28:00.000-06:00

|Where the Streets Have No Name.|

Current Music: Undone (The Sweater Song), Weezer (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: Two and a half hours until this day is over.

I've discovered a new hobby-- therapeutic writing. After one of the worst days of my life, I came home and wrote the entire thing, from start to finish, leaving nothing out. It helped. I'll post it here now, because I have absolutely nothing better to say. Enjoy.

Written at 11:00 last night: "Okay. It starts, as all things should, with a dream. The dream took place at approximately 7:00 a.m. (Approximately because I was, after all, asleep.) In it, I was some sort of Samwise-ish thing to a pseudo-Frodo and a Gollum. Gollum led us all over the place, through a wooded/gravelly area and around a fountainy lake, where lived a large, aquatic ape that was thereafter the antagonist of the dream. There was lots of other stuff, too, but that's really all I remember.

Then my watch alarm (which is far more pleasant than my alarm clock, and thus I use it more) woke me up, and I proceeded immediately to get ready to go fundrasiing for Bible Quiz. It was an extremely dreary morning, which was fine with me. The problem came as I drove to Wal-Mart. Our new (old) car has a strange tendency to get water in the gas tank when it's particularly humid, and at these times it bucks and stalls and even shuts down completely. We had a perfectly awful time going down [street name censored]. At last we stopped and Mom drove, and somehow we made it to Wal-Mart alive.

Preparing to sell coupons brought back bad memories of art shows. The McC_____s have a nifty canopy tent that we assembled in the cold and mist. Mike loaned me a hat that was rather similar to the stocking caps everyone has been wearing lately, and I found I rather liked it. Later, I bought one inside Wal-Mart for a dollar and cut the annoying pom-pom off the top. (Jokes were made about loose threads and unraveling the hat, and later that evening I heard the Weezer sweater song on the way home in Natalie's car. Fit my mood perfectly, for other reasons that you will see later.)

We had to make numerous signs while setting up, and much of that task was entrusted to me. Meanwhile Mom and Mike McC_____ tried to motivate the others to be agressive, but friendly, salespeople. (They were talking to Spike, Matt G_____, and Eryn. At that point in the morning, they might as well have been a brick wall.) The first three hours were dismal. Almost nobody came in the entrance (we were on the food side). Our one source of entertainment was offering people cards and free samples, and then watching as they got distracted and tried to walk in the exit. This happened so many times. Two people in a row actually pulled the exit door open. Another was in such a hurry that she squeezed through just before they closed, resulting in random humming of the Indiana Jones theme by those of us watching.

Even when traffic picked up, things weren't much better. The few Wal-Mart customers that actualy bothered to acknowledge our presence did so in incredibly rude ways. Several went so far as to give excuses that were obviously lies. (Lying Woman: "I already have four cards." Me: "Well, they make great gifts, too." LW: "Yeah, that's what I did, I gave them as gifts." Me, under my breath: "Then you wouldn't have four anymore, would you?") And on top of all that, at one point Matt was accused of swearing at a customer. He said "Thank you." THANK you. Matt does not swear. However, he does mutter. He has to work on that.

There was also a woman who hung around our booth for quite a while, talking about cigarettes and how she found Christ within and things like that. I don't think she was entirely stable. I was the only one in our group who would actually reply to her questions and statements. Funny how Evangelical Christian teens generally have no idea how to respond to people that don't fall into any other categories.

But at least I got a cool hat. And Karyn McC_____ wrote me an absolutely glowing recommendation letter on a scholarship application that I had to send off today. (Said application contributed to the added crappiness of this morning, but that's an entirely different story.)

Finally, around three, the sun came out, and suddenly people were nice to us, even when they wouldn't buy the cards. After about ten minutes of that, two assistant managers came and informed us that there was a problem, as we were selling Krispy Kreme products in front of a Wal-Mart store, and that, even though we cleared the whole thing with Wal-Mart's managers four days before, we would regrettably have to pack up and leave. So we did. We barely made a profit.

Once home, Mom and Dad went to Valentine's dinner at an Indian restaurant, while I watched Judge Judy and the Simpsons, petted my cat, got allergies, and tried to figure out why our DSL wasn't working. When Mom and Dad came home, I ate their leftovers (yummy curry) and went upstairs to practice guitar, only to find that a) my guitar was hopelessly out of tune, and b) the tuner had either run out of battery, or finally died. (That tuner is older than me.) So I went downstairs to get a new 9-volt battery, and before I got go back upstairs, Mom made me quote about 135 verses. Finally I got to practice guitar, which didn't go very well anyway as the tuner still didn't work quite like it should, and the guitar still sounds very off. (Note to Sam: Next lesson, ear-tuning or some such thing would be nice.)

Then I watched two hours of TV, which was nice and boring. Then I went upstairs to take a shower, but before I got ready, my parents shouted that Natalie has just arrived. Suddenly my day was looking up. And--joy and wonder--she wanted to go to the bookstore! Could it be? Was this awful hell of a day going to end on a high note?

It appeared not, for once we were within Natalie's car going down [other street name censored] at 35 mph, she broke the news that by bookstore she meant Borders, not Barnes & Noble. Oh, pain. Oh, agony. "It burns! It freezes!"

I went anyway. What choice did I have? Leap from a moving vehicle to the street below like Bono in so many U2 videos? I think not. Bono had padding. And you couldn't crack his skull with a sledgehammer anyway.

Borders was, as always, mediocre. However, we did discover that the fully illustrated (Alan Lee, no less) editions of Lord of the Rings were being released one book at a time... in hardcover. We tried not to drool on the pages, but I think some might have slipped through.

One thing I will say: Borders has a fantastic DVD section. There. That's it. I've said it.

I was then faced with one of the hardest decisions of my life: Coldplay's A Rush of Blood To The Head, or U2 At the End of the World by Bill Flanagan, the biography that picks up where Unforgettable Fire left off, and is about twice as thick. (It helps that the lettering is about twice as tall, too, but that's beside the point.) Nevermind that I had no money-- there was an ATM for my bank just down the street, and Natalie would cover her purchase and mine until we drove over to withdraw more cash.

I chose U2 At the End of the World. I can download Coldplay.

So after that we wandered aimlessly around Borders (which is almost as impossible to navigate as Branson Missouri, for all it's expansive grandeur), and drooled again over the Illustrated Brief History of Time. What is it with us and illustrations? I guess people just can't use their imagination anymore. How depressing. Anyway, at last we finished our foray into the ninth circle of Borders hell, and off we went to the ATM. (As we drove, Natalie told me amusing stories about her friend Courtney, a kleptomaniac who stole a loose Astrovan logo off the van, and set a wooden sink on fire.) That's when I remembered that I don't really have my PIN number memorized. I know the four numbers, but not the order in which to put them. I decided to try it anyway. Why? Because I'm an idiot. After trying three combinations, the machine returned my card and recommended I come back when I'm not an identity thief. For some really weird reason that I still haven't quite figured out, I stuck the card back in and tried again.

If you've already guessed that it ate my card, give yourself a pat on the back and me a smack in the head.

So home we drove, two penniless white girls with a Bond CD (Natalie's) and a U2 book (mine). At [censored street name] and [censored street name], as Weezer's Sweater Song blared over the speakers, we stopped at a red turn light with the [censored street name] lanes to our right green and no oncoming traffic, and Natalie ran the red light. Natalie. Ran. A red light.

I still haven't figured out whether she meant to, or even realized she did.

Anyway. Came home, told Mom and Dad about ATM incident, changed into jammies, got pencil and notebook, and started writing. I knew this would be cathartic, and maybe I'll actually sleep tonight.

But first I have a U2 book to read."

So yeah. That was my crappy day in a very large nutshell. I think that's all the therapy I can handle. Goodnight, and namar.

2003-02-12T11:55:00.000-06:00

|Writing Center Haiku|

Current Music: Whatever happens to pop into my head at any given moment.

Current Thought: It's too early to start work, but I have no desire to do math homework... I know! I'll update my blog!

One o'clock p.m.
Non-traditional student
Had a good essay.

Poster on the wall
Highlights of Sojourner Truth
Watercolor face

Poster on the wall
White piano, black singer
Monticello hall

Poster on the wall
B.B. King has got the blues
Short biographies

Poster on the wall
W.E.B. DuBois
Don't know who that is

Poster on the wall
Hand-drawn hooker, leather punk
Magic marker art

Poster on the wall
Seven waves and surfing sticks
Cowabunga, dude

Poster on the wall
Mercator projection map
What a lovely world

Poster on the wall
Black and white, a jazz guitar
The Stand: Rock and Roll

Poster on the wall
Designated driver ad:
Add it to your list

Namar.

2003-02-11T10:45:00.000-06:00

|Wahoo.|

Current Music: Peace on Earth, U2

Current Thought: To the list of sites I can't visit in class, add another: MST3K's Caption This!. Sigh.

Well. Twenty-six minutes 'til class. After Writing Center training, I went to my favorite spot in the main building and ate lunch, then tried to do math, gave up about halfway through, and came to the computer lab. Visited Caption This! and made a fool of myself, unable to keep from laughing hysterically. Side note: this screencap kept showing up on the gallery and in the caption menu. Methinks SciFi.com is having technical difficulties.

Anyway, yeah. Yesterday was... okay. Today, so far, has been decent. I get to have a Gardenburger for lunch after this class. I'm listening to U2's All That You Can't Leave Behind album. I have nothing of any particular interest to write.

Dangit! I just clicked on the picture in yesterday's post and started to chortle again. What's wrong with me?!

I'll move on to Neil Gaiman's journal. That seems safe enough.

Namar.

2003-02-10T13:57:00.000-06:00

|Just a shortie.|

Current Music: Classical, from the local NPR station.

Current Thought: I'm finding such awesome websites.

I just have to say that after sitting at work for nearly three hours, bored out of my skull, this is a lot funnier than it should be.

Namarie.

2003-02-10T10:22:00.000-06:00

|What fun that was.|

Current Music: Something weird that was just playing on the Writing Center's stereo that involved the repetition of "bah bah bah," over and over.

Current Thought: Every time I see celery, I think, Boy, that looks tasty. Then I eat it and want to barf. Stupid celery.

So the weekend was a middling mix of good and bad. Went to quiz in St. Louis on Saturday. Tsunami had a fantastic first quiz, but the rest of the day went downhill from there. Blech.

Yesterday, somehow managed to get myself out of bed and into church. Went to Hannah M.'s new house afterwards and hung out there for quite some time before Natalie and the M.'s had to leave for the grandparents' place. The rest of us stood around for about a half hour in the street outside trying to come to some decision about where we all wanted to go. It took so long because one person seemed to have trouble being a seperate and exclusive entity, and instead of giving us a straight answer, would turn and walk away and stand for a while looking at the slushy snow.

Finally we went to Churchill's Coffee and sat there for another two hours as I begged everyone to go to Barnes & Noble instead, because I was dying in the absence of books. Meanwhile, one friend was becoming more and more depressed and infuriated with the behavior of the aforementioned friend, and I listened to the venting of frustrated friend on the ride home. I didn't really mind, as frustrated friend is still a friend, and frustrated friend needed to articulate frustrated friend's feelings. I hope it helped, but I'm not sure it did.

Have I mentioned that I was mooned yesterday? Oh yes, indeed. I suppose I shall tell the story now. You see, Hannah M.'s house is in a neighborhood under construction, and there's a bit of land behind the house that's undeveloped and still woody and lovely. So after about an hour of sitting around playing Halo, Hannah M., Natalie, Matt W., Joel D., and myself all decided to go for a walk. So we slid our soggy way down the hillside, and found two blue gloves sitting rather conspicuously in the snow. Nearby we heard the sound of rushing water. There was an open manhole half-hidden in the trees, and from within we could hear talking and laughter. Joel and Matt tossed a few snowballs down, and after a bit of screaming, two youngish boys appeared and stood before us, saying very little. By this time Natalie and I were both talking in our crappy fake British accents, and I think we somehow managed to convince them that we were, in fact British. (Something about lesbians may have been thrown in there as well.)

So after Natalie gave a little lecture about how unsanitary it is to play in raw sewage, we moved on through the open field and up a hill. Halfway up, we heard shouting behind us, and saw one of the sewer-boys, accompanied by an older, pudgier youngster. They were several hundred yards away, so I couldn't hear anything in particular, but the pudgy fellow proceeded to moon us. "Bravo!" I shouted Britishly. "Encore!"

We kept walking, and the American piglets followed us, shouting that they owned this land and didn't take kindly to British lesbians walking all over it. ("King George owns this land," I shouted back.) As we grew closer to Hannah M.'s house, Matt seemed to grow concerned that the hoodlums might actually do something violent, which is rather funny when you consider that Matt is taller than both boys stacked on top of each other, and he knows several ways to kill a man, to boot. Meanwhile, Joel hung back a bit to speak to said hoodlums, and convince them that no, Natalie and I were not British lesbians. ("Yes, that's exactly what we are!" I contributed helpfully from my place up the hill.) Finally Joel, great negotiator that he is, convinced the boys that they may own the hill, but they certainly didn't own the street, on which we were now walking, and they turned back to go home. Natalie and I laughed all the way back to the house, and proceeded to tell everyone who didn't come along what they'd missed.

So yes. I don't believe I've ever been mooned before. If I were actually British, those scallywags may have started a war.

Namar.

2003-02-07T14:23:00.000-06:00

|Deeeaaaaaaath... Deeeeeaaaaath...|

Current Music: An amalgamation of snippets and excerpts from whatever happens to be floating around in my head at any given time.

Current Thought: Yay, work!

"Although vigorously heterosexual, he never married." Bwahahahah. Neil Gaiman is right-- the Daily Telegraph has the best obituaries ever.

So I got up this morning and turned on the Today show while I ate my cereal, and immediately noticed a very strange trend in the commercials. In the first commercial break, there were five advertisements involving elementary school in some way, shape, or form. Two of them had little boys falling in love with little girls. Two more had teachers, and yet another, a principal. NBC has obviously mastered the fine art of commercial coordination.

I have just rediscovered, as you might have noticed above, Neil Gaiman's website. The weblog is hilarious and very very British, as one should rightly expect. I love it when authors, actors, musicians, and anyone in the public eye communicates with fans and speaks about his or her day (or about great obituaries, as the case may be). What fun.

Anyway. That's all I got for now, besides the obligatory please-hang-around-while-I-tweak-the-site-incessantly-and-change-many-things-about-layout-and-interface spiel. Namar.

2003-02-05T13:00:00.000-06:00

|My Very First Comment Ever In The Whole Wide World|

Current Music: Colin Powell addressing the U.N. (I know, it's not music, but it sure is droning...)

Current Thought: My hair is finally short! Yay!!!

Written to Mark on his DeadJournal:

All I can say, Mark, is that I sympathize. Totally, utterly, and completely, but probably not in the way you might think. When one lives in [state name deleted for the protection of the author], one is continually surrounded by jerks and arses of every variety. They leak out of every crevice. I think they spontaneously generate from tobacco juice.

I'm an NBK. I've never gone on a date; not even to a dance. I'm finally beginning to enjoy this fact. I decided, after watching Emma last week with some friends, that I'm going to marry a gentleman. On the heels of this revelation came the discovery that I don't know any gentlemen. Somehow, that was incredibly liberating. I have sworn off every guy I know-- even the cute ones. Even the musically talented ones. Even the smart ones.

I'm not sure if that helps you at all. Maybe the constant droning of U.N. delegates over the radio behind me as I languish at work is fogging my mind. Anyway, all I can say is that we're in the same boat, you and I. That, and don't give up. I want to find a gentleman, and I truly believe I will. You want true love to come along. It will. I promise.

Anyway, I wish I could have written that in a letter to you, but it would have taken far too long to reach you. This is much faster. Hope you don't mind. ;^)

--Hannah

"Video trading cards... of the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders!"--The guy sitting at the computer across from me. See? Spontaneously generated from tobacco juice.

Meant every word.

Namar.

2003-02-04T12:35:00.000-06:00

|Decisions, decisions...|

Current Music: Shiver, Coldplay (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: Pay day is waaaaaaay too far away.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find the poetry of Patrick Kavanagh? Good Lord! He's Ireland's second-most influential poet (right behind Yeats, by most accounts), yet there's one book available on Amazon and Alibris. It's as if nobody's ever heard of him!

Well, nobody beside Russell Crowe, anyway. And Bono.

There was a guy in the Information Commons today with a table set up for "student work" starting at $13.25 an hour. I stopped to look over the material. As I approached the table, he asked, "Looking for a fun job?" Under any other circumstance, I would have laughed at the use of such a hooker-like phrase in such a situation, but it was even funnier as he said it in a tone so unenthusiastic as to be about as close to dead as one can get without physically stopping one's own heart. I smiled insincerely and replied, "Possibly." For the few moments I stood there listening to his spiel, I grew progressively less convinced that the job was fun or even mildly enjoyable. (It involved houseware sales, or something.) They need a new rep.

Heeeeeey, looks like Michael's finally got his site up and running. Everybody go visit. Nice lookin' little blog, and nifty entries. Yay, I got the first comment! Wish I'd had something intelligent to say. (I considered responding to the question of "Who cares what music you're listening to?" but refrained.)

Moving right along... What, you may ask, does the title of this entry have to do with Kavanagh, boring jobs, and other people's weblogs? Absolutely nothing. The title itself comes from a decision that I made over the weekend, after watching Emma with Natalie and Brittany. I could tell you what that decision was, or I could keep you in suspense a little longer... ::watches stopwatch:: Okay, that's long enough. The decision is: (drumroll please) I want to marry a gentleman.

So why is that a big deal? Well, how many gentlemen have you seen lately? Yeah, that's right, not many. They're a rather endangered species. In fact, I don't personally know any gentlemen. This is, for some reason, extremely liberating. It also contributes a bit of hope to my otherwise rather bleak little existence, in the form of such thoughts as Maybe today I'll meet a gentleman. Pathetic? Possibly, but not nearly as pathetic as I was before.

In other news, I get my hair cut today. Yes! Goodbye, curtain of static-clingy filaments! Seeya in hell! (From heaven!) I'm going for something like a Halle Berry look, knowing full well I'll never look like Halle Berry. That's okay. I just want her hair.

Maybe I'll meet a gentleman at the salon. Namarie.

2003-01-31T13:01:00.000-06:00

|I'll be waiting in line just to see if you care...|

Current Music: Spies, Coldplay

Current Thought: Yay, I have a new digital watch! What time is it? I know! I know!

Ahh, it's a nice slow Friday at the Writing Center. My new Coldplay CD is on the boombox. I had my first guitar lesson yesterday. I've played Age of Mythology three times since it arrived on Wednesday. About thirty minutes ago, Bridgett said "Mistaked." I'm gonna see a movie with Laura and friends tomorrow. I'm going to get an extra two hours each week. There's a sticker on this computer monitor that says "I VOTED." The pen on the desk is from the Association for Computing Machinery. This music is making my consciousness stream like RealPlayer.

Okay, that's all I got. Namar.

2003-01-27T12:38:00.000-06:00

|Yippee.|

Current Music: One Last Breath, Creed (stuck in my head since Saturday)

Current Thought: That was fun.

So now that Saturday is officially over by about 36 hours, I guess I'll get into the details of my party.

All went very well. It was a nice small crowd (apparently all the people Ryan invited without me knowing didn't show up). Certain people didn't even bother to ask off work for the evening, even though they've known about it for over a month.

At about 9, we decided to go over to Natalie's house and watch The Bourne Identity on the new HDTV (which is still evil, but nonetheless very cool). So we went to Blockbuster, where I have a membership. Every copy was checked out. So Sam assured us that Hollywood Video would have some copies. They didn't. So then I realized that I had $20 in my pocket, and we could go to Wal-Mart and buy it. We did. It was $15.96. Everyone pitched in a little, and I'm now the co-owner. Then we went out to the car and I realized that Eryn had given me a $15 Wal-Mart gift card for my birthday, that very evening, and it was still at home. Rrrrrg. Oh well. At least I've got the DVD. Unfortunately, it's full-screen. They'd better let me exchange it.

So that was Saturday. I stayed the night at Natalie's, and we went to church in the morning, then got a small group together, drove about 60 miles to the IMAX theater, and watched The Two Towers. The novelty of a really big screen started to wear off about thirty minutes into the movie. Long shots, panoramas of the landscape, and anything with a moving camera was absolutely spectacular (Gandalf vs. the Balrog sticks out in my mind), but nothing else really did anything for me. It was a fun way to spend an afternoon, though.

Side note: Sam didn't come. He said he didn't want to miss the kickoff at the Superbowl. Everyone nearby at the time reminded him that he hates football. He replied, "Who cares? It's the Superbowl!" So he's obviously only into it for the spectacle. Poor boy.

Side note #2: Sam offered me good money for the rhythm pickup on my Strat. He was totally serious. He loves that pickup. I told him maybe, but I think I'll keep the pickup just because. Muahahaha.

Anyway, that was my weekend. Got good presents. Happiness has occured, as Hannah M. would say.

Namarie.

2003-01-23T11:05:00.000-06:00

|In the naaaaaaame of love...|

Current Music: Pride (In the Name of Love), U2 (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: I swear, it's colder this morning than it was last night.

Drove up to school a few minutes ago, and am now waiting for Professor Astin's CIT class to start. It's 11:00, but he hasn't noticed. Strange considering the fact that there's a clock on his desktop, and he's doing something on the computer as we speak.

Went to Youth last night, and spent some time praising God for the fact that I can now look at certain people without feeling anything at all. It's about time. Thank you, God.

Ahh, class is starting. In another hour and fifteen minutes, I can go have a Gardenburger at the cafeteria.

Namarie.

2003-01-21T11:07:00.000-06:00

|Just back for a second...|

Current Music: Sweet Home Alabama, stuck in my head

Current Thought: I really can't look at The Caption Machine while I'm in class. I laugh too hard.

It's 11:04. Professor Astin has still not arrived.

Stupid, fat Hobbit... Namar.

2003-01-21T10:47:00.000-06:00

|Twooooooo heaaaaaarrrrts beat as oooooooooone...|

Current Music: See above, U2

Current Thought: My CIT teacher looks just like Sean Astin. That's gonna bother me for the rest of the year.

Here I am again, with 38 minutes left to go before class starts (not that I'm counting or anything), and the batteries on my CD player started running down in the middle of "40," so I'm not listening to anything at the moment except for the eerie humming sound towards the back of the room, which is really par for the course in a computer lab and all. And as I search Ain't It Cool News for any new developments on Pirates of the Caribbean (no dice, so far), I suppose I'll update you on recent developments.

Sunday was cool, as long as one overlooks certain stressful elements, such as the jerkwad actions of some people, the lapses of communication with others, and the encounter with one old "friend" who nearly forced Sam to grind his teeth into a fine powder. (Sam was remarkably restrained, by the way, somehow resisting the urge to punch said arsehole's nose in.) But yeah, basically I hung out with Brittany and Sam all afternoon and we drove aimlessly around town.

Argh, there's nothing on AICN newer than this photo. Not that that photo is bad or anything. Well, Johnny Depp's in it... I could crop him out, I suppose, but that would eliminate some of that really nice sword. (Spoilers-- Apparently Orlando Bloom plays a blacksmith's son whose specialty is swords. The movie's gonna suck something awful, but I'm still going, and I am going to love it. :^D )

Wow, I just noticed something... Is Depp wearing the Evenstar in that picture? There's something sparkly on his neck. How very strange.

Erm. Yes. Anyway. Have I mentioned that my CIT teacher looks like Sean Astin? And have I mentioned that Sean Astin is evil? So logically, my CIT teacher should be evil... right? Actually, he seems like a nice enough guy, but the resemblance is just too uncanny to ignore. Gehhhh.

16 minutes 'til class. Sigh.

Okay, that's all I've got for right now. Later. Namar.

2003-01-14T10:24:00.000-06:00

|I'm baaaaaaaaaack!|

Current Music: Zoo Station, U2

Current Thought: I'm so glad my first class is in a computer lab...

Well, what an eventful two months it has been. Of course, I suppose any two months without a blog entry would be rather eventful, even if one were to live in a cave. ("Today a tarantula crawled into the fire and exploded. Most exciting thing that's happened in two months.") But anyway, in the interest of "Show, Don't Tell," I'll stop saying how eventful it's been and start saying why it's been eventful.

First and foremost, I am no longer working at the Popcorn Capitol of Hades. This has it's benefits-- I don't come home at 1 a.m. smelling like popcorn, with the angry complaints of customers stuck in my head. Unfortunately, the downsides (i.e. having no money) are considerable as well. However, I needn't worry about such things, as I now have the Coolest Job In the World. (Yes, I notice the Sudden Fixation With Capital Letters.) In case you're wondering what said Job is, it involves being a writing consultant at the college writing center. This is so cool because, as you can see below, I really, really like writing. Really. And now I'm getting paid $6.25 per hour to do it. Or rather, to help other people do it, which is possibly even cooler. So yeah. Coolest Job In the World.

The second really important and awesome announcement is that I got a Fender Strat. You may notice a sudden contradiction between what I wrote in the above paragraph and what I'm writing now. How, you may ask, can one be a jobless, penniless college student, yet still afford to buy a Fender Strat, and a rather nice Japanese 1957 reissue with upgraded American parts, at that? Three words, my friend: My parents rock. Basically, they saw that I really really really wanted a Fender, and that I didn't even have enough money to buy a Squier (I shudder now to think I was actually considering the purchase of such a shoddy contraption), so Mom looked around town and found, at the very place where I bought my acoustic, a beautiful Arctic White Strat (with pearlescent pickboard, the major selling point for me) with hardshell case for $450. We bought the Strat three days after Christmas. For the next three months, my paycheck is going to my parents. But it's all worth it...

But here's the really cool part. Mom mentioned the new guitar to Larry A., Sam's dad, who is quite probably the best lead guitarist I know personally, Sam being a close second. And Larry said that when Sam's old Strat was stolen and they were shopping around for a new one (playing every Strat in town just to make sure they covered their options), Sam tried out my guitar, and it was his second choice, right behind the really awesome Fat Strat he got instead. So that made me feel even better, if at all possible, then I already did. So right now my beloved guitar is sitting on its stand, pristine and sparkling and white. (At least, it's sitting there unless the cat has knocked it over. Great, I'll be thinking about that all day now.) My calluses are itching. I wish I was playing it right now... ::starts to drool::

Erm, yes, anyway. Okay, now to summarize the rest of what has made recent months so cool... I've started driving; I'm starting the spring semester this very morning; I got lots of money for Christmas (which, of course, went toward the Strat); I've gone to a Christmas party and a New Year's party, both at Natalie's house; I've seen The Two Towers three times already; I've been reading some really cool books (Eamon Dunphy's Unforgettable Fire: The Definitive Biography of U2, Bulfinch's Mythology, and Salman Rushdie's Step Across This Line: Collected Nonfiction 1992-2002 among them); I got to see my more musical friends play two gigs, and I'm going to another on Friday; I'm addicted to the demo of Age of Mythology (which I'll probably be buying with my birthday money, along with Age of Empires II); and I made the top Springfield Bible Quiz team. There's more stuff than that to make me happy, but I can't recall exactly what right now.

And on top of it all, So Cruel is curerntly playing on my CD. Life is goooooooooood. ::turns up CD player::

With that, I think I'll sign off for now. Namar.

2002-11-18T18:03:00.000-06:00

|Sweet irony you caused me...|

Current Music: Sweet Misery, Michelle Branch (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: See below.

Will wonders never cease? I mentioned before that I was interviewed about weblogs and such, and the story was broadcast last night. Unfortunately I forgot all about it and didn't tape it or anything, but about an hour ago I got a call from Dad saying that he was reading the news station's website, and my full name was used in the transcript of the story.

Let's think about this for a second. The majority of that report was devoted to examining the potential hazards of online publishing, including various privacy issues. They even used my quote that stated I never use my full name on this weblog. Yet not only do they divulge my last name, as well as Laura's, on the air, but they also publish it on their website.

Come on, people.

Well, I wrote the reporter a rather indignated e-mail and told her, in no uncertain terms, to take my name out of the online version of the story immediately. After all, for every crackpot on the Internet, there's also one in this town. And most of them probably watch that station. (No, I didn't actually say that in the e-mail, but I kinda wish I had.) That was about forty-five minutes ago, and so far I haven't received a reply from the reporter, nor has there been any change to the story.

Anyway. Beyond all that, life's been pretty cool lately. On Friday I gave my two week notice at the theater (finally!). I worked on Saturday, which wasn't all that bad but for the fact that we kept running out of popcorn. Do you have any idea how nasty people get when they can't get popcorn as soon as they order it? Three people at my register alone demanded their money back. One of the managers took care of it, but I'm not sure he voided everything-- I was six dollars over on my drawer, and got written up because of it. (Funny side note: Just before I clocked off, I went to the manager's office and asked if they had a write-up form for me to sign. As Mike handed it to me, he commented that I was always so cheery when I came in to be written up. I kinda smiled and shrugged, holding back certain comments I could make about how I only had two weeks left anyway, and what could they do to me? Heeheehee.)

I'm so glad I'll be out of there before The Two Towers arrives... Working the Harry Potter premiere totally turned me off to all things premiere-related, and I don't have any particular interest in ever setting my foot in that theater again after I've served my time.

Let's see here... On Sunday, I hung out at Eryn's house with the usual gang and watched the Extended Edition of Fellowship of the Ring, plus a couple of the special features. Great fun was had by all, though it did get slightly irritating when certain people who shall remain *cough*Josiah*cough* nameless wouldn't shut up long enough to watch the new scenes. Nevermind that I'd already seen it before. That's not the point. ;^) But yes, great fun nonetheless, and I recommend that DVD for just about anyone. The reicorporated Hobbit stuff is brilliant. The Lothlorien gift-giving scene rocks beyond words. And the special features are as numerous as the stars over Valinor... erm... Yes, well.

*low chanting* Nîn o Chithaeglir/lasto beth daer/Rimmo nîn Bruinen/dan in Ulaer! :^D

Namarie.

2002-11-12T16:27:00.000-06:00

|Dooby dooby doo...|

Current Music: The Hands That Built America, U2 (still stuck in my head)

Current Thought: That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things...

So here I am, in Laura's mom's office, typing away as they film me in an interview for the news and Laura's talking about how cold it was in school today, and Linzy got a new coat that doesn't fit her personality AT ALL, but Laura thinks it's just perfect for her personality, even though she copied from Laura's coat. She's a total trendsetter. Have I mentioned that I'm copying everything she says? And second block was really fun, 'cause they're gonna start making PJ pants, so she's really excited. And there's only one guy in that class. And all the girls are like "We know why you really wanted to join this class." And he's like, "No, I really wanted to design clothes." And now we're talking about working this weekend when Harry Potter comes out. *shudder* *gag* Woohoo.

I can't wait to get home and watch the Fellowship of the Ring extended edition. It arrived an hour and 13 minutes ago.

I just ran out of stuff to type. So I'll just type idly. Whee! Woo! Whoa! Hi-dilly-ho, neighbor!

And wheeeeeee!

Yeah, as Laura just said, I need a life. ;^)

Namar.

2002-11-12T14:56:00.000-06:00

|Yes, it's been a long time...|

Current Music: The Hands That Built America, U2 (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: Ahh, what a pleasant job interview that was.

Okay, so two weeks have passed since my last update... So what? It's not as if you read this thing every day, right? (You don't read this thing every day, right?) And it's been even longer since Laura posted on hers. ;^)

But really, I have such news to tell you! First of all, I had two job interviews in two weeks. One was with the Sprint Store (no, it's not telemarketing, and I don't appreciate all these people jumping to conclusions), and the other was with the OTC Writing Center. I've decided now that I'm going with the Writing Center, even though Sprint pays better. The WC (bwahaha-- bad British pun) is a really nice, relaxed environment. Unfortunately it also means I won't be starting until January, which means I can't quit Springfield 8 right away. But I'm sure as heck going to quit at least two weeks before The Two Towers comes out. (Nothing I can do about Harry Potter, unfortunately--that's this weekend.)

So besides the job stuff and having one of the coolest dreams ever last night, not much has been happening... Oh, except for one minor little detail. A couple of weeks ago, Laura called me and said that one of the local news stations had called her mother wanting to set up an interview with Laura about online journaling. She didn't want to do it unless I did it, and of course I wanted to do it, so that's what I'm doing this afternoon... in about forty-five minutes they'll be here to pick me up, and by this evening every member of my family will have been on the local news, and not just because of crimes we've committed. :^D

Ooooooh, theonering.net has tracks from the Two Towers score... Muahahaha. Forth, Eorlingas! :^D

Erm... Forth Eorlingas as soon as Windows Media Player installs...

*sigh* Forth Eorlingas eventually... *muttermutter*stupidlaptopwithaslowprocessorspeed...

Okay, fine, halt Eorlingas. Ooh, I know what I'll do... Download the files, use Dad's CD burner to burn them to my soundtrack disc, and listen on my CD-MP3 player! I'm such a genius! :^D

And with that, I'll bid you farewell for now. Namar.

2002-10-29T11:15:00.000-06:00

|So many ideas...|

Current Music: Closing Time, Semisonic

Current Thought: Too much creativity. Not enough time.

Well, the Eowyn costume has been placed on the back burner until mid-November, probably. If I end up going to any Halloween parties (not particularly likely), I'll go as a Springfield 8 employee.

Now there's just one problem. I'm getting all these ideas for stuff to sew, and one of them would make a really awesome semi-formal, two-piece dress in wine and ivory silk essence. I've got a pattern and everything. Now I just need time, money, and motivation-- three things that have been largely absent in my life of late. Sigh.

On the plus side, I get paid Friday. That means money for the new Star Wars book and U2's Best Of album. Woohoo!

Well, I go to look at dresses and ponder my design. Namar.

2002-10-25T15:56:00.000-05:00

|She'll be dead soon; then she'll sleep...|

Current Music: The Ground Beneath Her Feet, U2

Current Thought: I wanna quit my job...

It sucks not having enough cash for anything. For example: no more than a half hour ago, I went on Amazon and discovered that on November 5th, U2 will be releasing their Best Of 1990-2000 album. And what's more, if you order it on Amazon for $19.99 (you save $4.99), they'll throw in a bonus DVD with various live performances through the years. There are just three problems: a) my job sucks and I make $5.20 an hour; b) I only work about 8 hours a week, if even that; c) I'm already spending a ton of money on my Eowyn costume (for Halloween and the Two Towers premiere). So yeah, that sucks. If anyone out there would like to take pity on me and send a copy of Best Of 1990-2000 my way come November 5, I'd be much obliged...

Life is so full of irony. I'm in the final stages of a rather lengthy crush phase that has lasted from early summer right up to a couple weeks ago, and just as I'm getting over the person in question, I start having these dreams. Dreams that involve kissing. Dreams that involve just the two of us, sitting together, holding hands, staring deeply into each other's eyes... It's all a bit like the dream I had a few months ago, but about ten times worse. How depressing.

Ach, Mom's calling me. Gtg. Namar.

2002-10-21T15:25:00.000-05:00

|Two updates in one day. Aren't you lucky?|

Current Music: Discotheque, U2

Current Thought: Still wanna cash my check...

It's the end of an era: I'm finally retiring my old Vans CaraBeth sneakers. I've had 'em for something like four years, and they've long since gone from a pleasant sky-ish blue to a middling grey that matches practically everything. The rubber is now almost completely worn off at the heel, and they're in pretty sad shape. Farewell, my beloved trademark--you are bound for that big shoebox in the sky.

On the plus side, when I first got those puppies, Mom got a pair exactly like them, and she's worn them twice in all that time, so she gave 'em to me! Hello again, my beloved trademarks!

Boom cha, boom cha, Discotheque...

Well, anyway. Had a busy weekend; worked on Friday night and Saturday morning to afternoon, then saw Tuck Everlasting with Natalie afterward. Lovely, romantic, depressing movie. Went to CCC Sunday morning, then got inducted into Phi Theta Kappa that afternoon. Most. Boring. Thing. Ever. Luckily, I followed that up with a movie and a Bible study at Josiah's house (the movie was Orange County), then traveled about thirty miles to Sam's new house. So cool to be out in the country again; reminded me of Galena without all the people (ha ha). The poem in today's earlier post is about the ride back. I won't say who was driving, but I will say red convertible. ;^) That was great fun. So was getting lost on the way there with Josiah, who doesn't know right from left anyway, and on top of that, Sam's directions were out of order. So we got there about half an hour after everyone else.

Let's see here, what else is new... I'm nearly finished with the best book I've read in recent months: Smoke and Mirrors, by Neil Gaiman, the author of Neverwhere and the Sandman series, among others. I'm simply in awe. The man has absolutely limitless creativity. If brain transplants were feasible, I'd want his.

Anyway, just got out of class for the day. Got into some heavy factoring (gag) in math, looked at pictures of dogs and motorcycles (I kid you not) in Art and Experience, and watched about half of a really stupid movie in Spanish. Here's an indication of how stupid: it wasn't even originally in Spanish. It was dubbed over, and there were no subtitles. And to top it all off, the main character was played by Michael Biehn, who hasn't been in a decent film since his stint as James Cameron's favorite actor. Tsk, tsk. Poor man. He was so cute in The Abyss.

Before I sign off, I thought I'd plug two other blogs... Laura's, called HotSauceObsession, and Mark's (my old Canadian penpal) DeadJournal. Goooooood readin'.

Soooooothe me mother, ruuuuuuule me father, shoooooooow me mother, shoooooooow me mother...

Anyway. Boom cha, and namar.

2002-10-21T12:28:00.000-05:00

|Real Life Poetry #4,263|

Current Music: Tryin' To Throw Your Arms Around The World, U2

Current Thought: Wanna cash my check...

We took the sharper turns at sixty-five
And on the straightaways, got up to ninety
Until small hills felt like pulling G's in a fighter jet
And my knuckles turned white on the door handle
But even though (or perhaps because) my life was in someone else's hands
I was strangely unafraid
And a feeling of peace came over me as the full moon, bright as daylight,
Slid across the dash
Living so long in the city, I forgot what stars were like
What silence is
And how it feels to be
Completely free
On a country road
Under a midnight sky
With a friend at my side.

written 10/20/02

Namar.

2002-10-16T12:53:00.000-05:00

|So much to say...|

Current Music: Please, U2 (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: Bored bored bored bored bored...

Strange that I haven't updated in so long; a lot of stuff has been happening lately. More than normal, at any rate.

For one thing, I found a college that I'm seriously considering. It's Southern Illinois University at Carbondale, and tuition for one year there is cheaper than one semester at SMSU. Tons of pros to this place-- highly accredited journalism program, a beautiful campus, and it's far enough away from home to be comfortable. Plus, it's not too far from Greenville (maybe about a hundred miles), so occasionally on the weekends I can visit Ben, Sam, and Jil. Muahaha. They'll never be rid of me.

The only thing standing in my way on that one was mandatory immunizations by Illinois law, but I found out yesterday that there is a provision for religious exemption, thank God. No shots for me! I'm officially contagious! Eeeheeheeheehee!

Anyway. Let's see here; what else... Well, I got an evaluation at Springfield 8, and scored mostly ones (once again, on stuff I've never done or haven't been trained on), but I wasn't particularly disgusted because every point counts toward my final score, and my final score counts toward my raise. So now I'm up to a whopping $5.20 an hour. I'm so ready to quit. Call me, Borders!

Oh, and one last thing; I've found myself really getting back into guitar lately. It's suddenly become incredibly easy for me to learn chords, using my little method... I go online, find chords and tabs for various songs (mostly U2, of course), and figure them out that way. What fun. Next spring I'll probably be taking a beginning guitar course here at OTC... Heckuva lot cheaper than actual lessons.

Well, it's eight minutes 'til class, so I'd best wrap this up. I'll be back later with more news and random observations. Namar.

2002-10-11T12:47:00.000-05:00

|Oh, frustration...|

Current Music: All You Wanted, Michelle Branch

Current Thought: I hate my theater.

Nobody in this freaking town is showing Tuck Everlasting. Now, you might laugh and say "So what?" but let's think about this. It's the newest film from Disney... with an all-star cast... based on the beloved 1975 novel of the same name. Do you have any idea how much money the Goodrich could have made this weekend off that movie? They'd be the only place in Springfield playing it! Yet for some reason, they're still showing The Banger Sisters instead. They have Red Dragon in two out of their eight theaters! Signs has been there for three months! What is wrong with them?

Well, besides the obvious, I mean.

Anyway. Most irritating. I've half a mind to chew Mike out because of it, although that would most likely result in instantaneous firing. Not that that would be a bad thing. But I'd much rather quit that job myself than be fired from it. And the reasons just keep piling up...

Well. That kinda ruins my plans for the evening. Now I wanna do something interesting. Juice N' Java, anyone?

I think it's high time to post some more writing, so here's one I did in the throes of inspiration around 11:30 last night. It was done as an answer to a challenge on The Writer's Cafe. I had to write "the story behind the song," and I chose U2's Running to Stand Still.

She woke up that morning with one thought in her mind, and it would not leave her alone. For fifteen minutes she stared up at the ceiling, immobile, listening to the thought circle in her mind and repeat itself insistently. Finally, giving in, accepting it, she said it out loud. The words were meaningless in comparison with the thought itself, which was far more intense, far more demanding. She said them anyway: "Something has to change."

By the time she reached the subway, the rain had drenched her. The train shuddered forward and she found herself gazing at the blank faces of the other passengers. Were they as lost as she was? Did they all have the same bitter taste in their mouths? If they did, did they even know it?

She could feel the sky pressing down on her when she got off at her stop. The sheer faces of the buildings that lined the street were as confining as the walls of a prison cell. There was only one way out of the city, and she was too afraid to use it. Once, long ago, someone had shown her the way out, just before he left, too. She knew how to get to the secret stream, deep underground. But she'd never go.

There was a song that went with the thought, one that stuck to her like a tail. She was sure she'd never heard it before, and she found herself humming it.

Something had to change. The city was a trap, and it would not let her do what she had to do. She could pick any door, but it would not help. She could try anything--lie, beg, steal, run. She could run all she wanted, through the wet streets and the dark alleys; through the rain and the fury of the storm; she could run until her feet were tattered, until her legs gave out, but she would not go anywhere.

Namar.

2002-10-09T11:09:00.000-05:00

|Dooby dooby doo...|

Current Music: Until The End of the World, U2

Current Thought: I hate getting to OTC too early...

Guess I might as well update and tell you what's been going on lately... My weekend was awesome. Highlights of Saturday include:

•Getting 73% accuracy at the quiz competition in St. Louis
•Riding back from St. Louis and listening to U2's Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses just as we crossed Wild Horse Creek. I love life's little coincidences.
•Seeing a billboard for "Molly's Amish Furniture... and FIREWORKS!" Anyone else see the irony?
•Eating dinner at Long John Silver's (my third fish sandwich for that day) with some of the first-year quizzers. Cool people, all.
•Sam's amazingly astoundingly awesome gig. Jil sang, Tim sang, even Samson sang, and when nobody was singing, there were some incredible jazz/blues/improv instrumentals going on. Wow. Wow, Sam. Wow.

Higlights of Sunday include:
•Skipping Bible study at Natalie's house to watch The Faculty instead. Jesus... guaranteed to jack you up.
•Borrowing some more of Natalie's CDs. I think I'm scratching the bottom of the barrel; the only one in the bunch that really interests me is Chopin's Nocturnes. Natalie needs some more U2 CDs.

So yeah, that just about brings us up to date... Beyond that, it's been homework and scholarship research. Turns out I'm eligable for the Horace Mann scholarship, since Mom and Dad are both teachers. That's up to $20,000. Wouldn't that be nice? Also entered a Calgon scholarship competition which amounted to sending them my personal details and two really tiny essays. Did all that while I should have been memorizing the 25-word essay we have to write for Spanish... and yes, that's 25 words in Spanish. So far, I've got "Español es muy practico." Four down, twenty-one to go.

Oooooookay... my $150 CD-MP3 player just stopped in the middle of So Cruel. Full battery charge... 180-second anti-skip activated... and it's not the first time it's done this. Most peculiar. Perhaps stopping and restarting will help. Thank God for the auto-resume memory feature.

This CD player still rocks, though. Take that, Laura. ;^)

Anyway. Gotta go write a one-page, double-spaced paper on the challenges and problems faced by my Art 110 team in making our video assignment. All I can think of is that two members of the team couldn't make it to filming on Saturday, including myself. Must go pull some more details out of... thin air (what did you think I'd say?) and make it sound plausible. Namar.

2002-10-07T15:22:00.000-05:00

|Two vignettes|

Current Music: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Tan Dun

Current Thought: Wanna cash my check... wanna cash my check...

The street outside the window was empty but for the lone girl, wrapped in a big black coat. Her hair, dyed red, was damp and covered by a shapeless hat. It wasn't particularly cold out, except for wherever she walked or stood. She cast no shadow under the streetlamps. She wasn't really there.

Sometime, decades ago perhaps, she had walked that street; that, or she had not yet and would not for decades to come. Or she never had and never would, and the only person who saw her had invented her out of boredom or fatigue or insanity.

Whatever she was or wasn't, she passed through the puddles of light on the wet street without a sound, and was soon beyond the range of the window, leaving no sign she had ever existed-- which, of course, she hadn't.

written 9/29/02

She hid in the bathroom stall. It was far enough from everything that the screams in her head became mere background noise, blending with the rush of water and the voices of the girls washing.

The walls were painted a pasty mauve, with a chrome handle and hook on the door. It was nice, for a school: no pointless messages etched into the paint, no stains on the stone tile floor. It was nice, yes, and rigid, like the rest of the building. It left no room for breathing, no room for imagination. She could no more visualize any sort of creature in that room than she could take out her own heart and continue to live. Nothing was welcome here save humans, and even they were mostly discouraged from staying longer than absolutely necessary. The place reeked of efficiency and air freshener.

She hated the school, three stories of classic brick architecture, where her parents dumped her every weekday morning with the assurance that she was getting an education that would prepare her for an expensive college and a profitable career. She hated the teachers, the students, the uniforms, and the way that everyone was just as smart and just as rich as everyone else. She hated the halls. The full-spectrum lights hurt her eyes and made the screaming louder. She wanted her old school back, but her parents wouldn't hear of it. They listened to the psychiatrist, who said the trauma was too much and she had to change schools.

So between classes, and sometimes during, she hid in the bathroom. It was far enough from everything that the screams in her head became mere background noise, and when the doors swung open and slammed shut, it almost drowned out the echo of the shot that had killed the only friends she ever had.

written 10/7/02

Been a while since I posted something fictional, so there you go-- a double-whammy of rather depressing prose. Namar.

2002-10-04T12:41:00.000-05:00

|Gonna run to you, run to you, run to you...|

Current Music: Tryin' To Throw Your Arms Around The World, by (wait for it) U2. Gasp! No, really?

Current Thought: Sorry my life isn't funny enough for you, Kathleen. ;^) I'll see what I can do to liven it up, but things have been pretty dull around here lately...

Ahh, the math teacher recanted and gave me two points back on the greater-than-sign thing. I'm pulling a nice even B in math at this point, thanks mostly to the test. If homework was weighted more heavily, I'd definitely have an A, but apparently it's only 12% of the grade. Oh, well, I can live with a B, as long as it's the only one I get this year. Gotta maintain my beautiful GPA to stay in Phi Theta Kappa, after all.

Heeeeey, did I mention that I downloaded Achtung Baby yesterday? Yep, the whole CD (seeing as I have yet to find it used). KaZaA and a DSL connection are a dangerous combination. My next target is an episode of Pinky and the Brain. I have way too much time on my hands. Anyway, yeah. I like AB a lot better than The Joshua Tree... it seems a lot more balanced. I have yet to decide if I like it better than All That You Can't Leave Behind, but I'm leaning toward yes.

Leaning toward yes... that sounds like it'd make a really cool poem title or song or something. Hmm...

Well. Anyway. Got up this morning and realized that Josiah's ID tag has been in my jeans pocket for the last two days. Bwahahaha. Maybe I'll give it back at Sam's gig. Maybe.

Oh, don't look at me like I'm evil! He said he has like three more! Granted, they're from the last three years, but who'll notice that he's suddenly a freshman? In fact, I bet he'll blend right in.

Okay, now you can look at me like I'm evil.

Funny enough for you, Kathleen? ;^) Namar.

2002-10-03T19:18:00.000-05:00

|Did I ask too much, more than a lot? You gave me nothing, now it's all I got...|

Current Music: One (duh), U2 (stuck in my head). The live version. With the full orchestra. And the entire audience singing along. *collapses in a fit of drooling*

Current Thought: Ow.

I'm severely damaged after Youth last night. Not only did I headbang twice, totally straining my neck, but we played that silly "bird and pirch" game, and I was a pirch, so there's third-degree rugburn on my left knee. So yeah. Hence the "achy" mood. Bleh.

Anyway. Had a relatively relaxing day, got some homework done, e-mailed my last-semester English teacher with the details of the recommendation letter I need, and left a message on the answering machine of the guy who runs the OTC school newspaper. And that's basically all there is to report. Whoop-dee-doo. Namar.

2002-10-02T15:49:00.000-05:00

|If you had your way, you'd just shut me up...|

Current Music: Unwanted, Avril Lavigne

Current Thought: Aww, Ryan said my site is interesting! ...I guess this means Ryan is no longer grounded. ;^)

Got a whopping 77 out of 100 on my last math test. Granted, I legitimately screwed up on several of the problems, but what really ticked me off was that the teacher took off four points because I used an inequality sign that we had never used in class or on the homework. The wording of the problem was something to the effect of: "n is not greater than $684.50" or thereabouts. In my inequality, I used a > with a slash through it, signifying not greater than. But she wanted an underscored <, signifying less than or equal to. And that dropped me from a B to a C. Garg. Garg, garg, garg. And I say again, garg.

Anyway. The rest of the day was pretty good. Stopped by my last-semester English teacher's office to ask if he could possibly write a little letter of recommendation for the Writing Center when I go in to apply. He remembered who I was, where I sat, what I wrote, and that I was in Bible Quiz. Wow. I also got the name and number of the guy who runs the school newspaper, so I'm going to volunteer to write for it. Personally, I think it could use my help, but that's just me.

Called work to get my schedule... They had me scheduled Friday and Saturday. I gave them a sheet last month of all the days I couldn't come in through October, and Saturday was included as a day off. But nooooo, they just go and schedule me anyway. I appreciate the extra hours and all, but now is really not the time. Oh, well. Got it sorted out anyway. Think I talked to Daniel, which is good. Daniel's always been the nice one. Weird, yes, and irritating when he sings the Mario Sunshine song, but nice, especially compared to the perpetually-PMSing female managers and the constantly-curmudgeonly Mike.

Well, it's only about 15 minutes until I'm off to the worship team tryouts (hence my musical mood). My nose still hasn't quite recovered, but my throat is pretty clear and I'm feeling like I can pull off a couple songs. I know I'm singing Amazing Grace, but beyond that I still haven't decided. It'll likely be either Breathe or Sanctuary. Long as it's something I know, I'll be all right. I was considering Be Thou My Vision, but for that I'd need lyrics, and I'd best keep it simple.

And if it sounds like I'm obsessing, well, I am. Nothing too serious; I won't die if I don't make it onto the worship team, but I want to sound pretty good. The few times I've ever auditioned for anything (and actually, only one comes to mind) I bombed rather horribly. Of course, that was when I was thirteen... trying out for The Crucible at Little Theatre... in front of a room full of total strangers. I think my stage fright has improved slightly since then.

Anyway, wish me luck. Namar.

2002-10-02T12:30:00.000-05:00

|She is raging... she is raging... and a storm blows up in her eyes...|

Current Music: Running to Stand Still, U2

Current Thought: I'm hungry.

Okay, so I was listening to the radio last night, and up came a commercial for Republic Ford. They're having a "Monster Sale" for October and such. And I was tuning it out until I recognized the "spooky" fake organ MIDI music in the background. It was the Jurassic Park theme. What does the Jurassic Park theme have to do with Halloween, or monsters, I ask? Realy? It's not even spooky. If John Williams were dead, he'd be rolling in his grave. Or coming back to haunt those idiots.

"They're not monsters, Lex..."

Anyway. Here I am, in between classes, bored stiff. Wheee! I think I'm gonna go upstairs now and eat my string cheese. Namar.

2002-10-01T18:57:00.000-05:00

|La la la...|

Current Music: The Ground Beneath Her Feet, U2

Current Thought: None. My mind is blessedly blank.

Had a very nice, lazy day today. Did some homework, earned some cash typing stuff for Mom, and downloaded a whole lotta music now that KaZaA is back on our computer after Mom and Dad mistakenly thought it caused some problems a while back.

Mom gave me permission to quit Springfield 8 if the managers give me an evaluation like the one they gave Laura. She seems to agree with the general consensus that giving low marks on something they haven't even trained Laura on is the most ridiculous thing in the history of all ridiculous things. Laura has never made seating announcements over the P.A. And when have any of the managers seen her answer the phone?! They freaking told her not to, for heaven's sake! Mike's just looking for excuses to not give us raises. It hasn't even been sixty days yet!

Sigh. Such is the plight of those doomed to work at an awful theater that doesn't even get the good new movies. (Four Feathers still isn't out there.) All I can say is... CALL ME, BORDERS!!!

Namar.

2002-09-30T12:04:00.000-05:00

|Real Life Poetry III|

Current Music: Mothers of the Disappeared, U2

Current Thought: That was the easiest math test I've ever taken.

They've all got pictures
Of those they loved and lost
They hold them up in the wind
And the paper flutters like candle flames
It's not for anyone in particular to see
Not the cameras or the people
Up on stage reading three-thousand names
Just to see, and be seen and remembered
And in the whole place
In that massive city block, now flattened
And filled with people
There is no sound but the wind.

written 9/29/02

Namar.

2002-09-29T19:57:00.000-05:00

|Sigh.|

Current Music: Electrical Storm, U2 (stuck in my head ever since I was singing it this afternoon and Sam was complaining in usual Sam fashion about how U2 has gone so downhill, and they used to be so great in 1991 or whatever. Sam didn't even know who U2 was in 1991. Sam's knowledge of music probably encompassed "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" and the alphabet song in 1991. Shame, Sam, shame. ;^) Anyway.)

Current Thought: Ugh, homework. Waitaminute, I don't have much homework. Yay!

Despite the angsty-sounding title, tonight and yesterday was really pretty fun. As you have probably guess by now, there were no hot Irish/British/Scottish guys at Barnes & Noble. The only thing that came close was a moderately good-looking guy who was browsing through books about Ireland in the travel section. But even despite that, it was cool. Hung out with Brittany, Adam, Joel, Delacey, and later Natalie, who dished some dirt on homecoming and various miscellaneous intervention-related stuff that came very close to ruining her evening, but she was able to pull through well enough.

Midway through the evening, before Nat arrived, Brittany and Adam and I left Joel and Delacey behind, took Brittany's car over to the ATM across the street, got twenty bucks, and I went to Wherehouse Music (finally!) and bought The Joshua Tree. Then I got a really neat little chunky journal for ten bucks at B&N. I don't think Joel and Delacey even noticed we were gone. Or if they did, it took Delacey at least three seconds. :^D

So that was all fun and cool. Went to Joel and Josiah's house for the Bible study earlier this afternoon, and hung out there until about 5:10, at which point we all walked up to Springfield 8. Josiah had a bleeding thumb, but that's an entirely different story.

Anyway, we got to S8 and I used my magical powers as an employee to get everyone who came with me complementary cups of water. Then I used my pass for the week to get two tickets for my grandparents to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and they very graciously paid me $10 for my trouble. (Trouble? Does walking four blocks to the theater count?) On the walk back to the house, had great fun flicking Josiah in the head. I annoyed him so much that we're now divorced. That, too, is an entirely different story.

Natalie rejoined us after leaving early, and we went up to Josiah's room to watch, of all things, The Lion King. I was bored. Very bored. In fact, so were Josiah and Natalie. They nearly fell asleep.

And then Nat and I left, she dropped me off at home, I went upstairs to watch The Simpsons only to find that Fox was, for some strange, incomprehensible reason, playing The Matrix, ate some dinner, sulked a little about the lack of good entertainment on TV (another station is playing Mission: Impossible II), and now here I am. Wow. What a day.

End pointless play-by-play of the last twenty-six hours. Namarie.

2002-09-28T18:38:00.000-05:00

|Yay!|

Current Music: Don't Think of Me, Dido

Current Thought: Stuff's gettin' better. Stuff's gettin' better all the time.

Ahh, salvation from boredom comes from the strangest places-- like Delacey. God bless that girl. In less than fifteen minutes, she and her older sister (the driver of the house) will be by to pluck me from the Kingdom of Boredom and whisk me away to blessed Barnes & Noble, which is... wait for it... right across the street from Wherehouse Music!!! This weekend is definitely looking up. Also, Natalie will show up sometime this evening with pictures and stories from homecoming. How delightful.

Sadly, the new Star Wars novel has not yet been released, so I'll probably spend most of the evening hovering around the Mark Twain section and hoping against hope that a hot, British/Scottish/Irish boy of about my age, who happens to love Mark Twain, will come along and strike up a conversation, and eventually buy me front-row tickets to a U2 concert in Dublin where Semisonic is opening for them.

"Against hope" is the operating term there. Namar.

2002-09-28T16:14:00.000-05:00

|Waiting... waiting... waiting...|

Current Music: Worlds Apart, Bruce Springsteen (stuck in my head, which sucks, 'cause I don't know all the words)

Current Thought: When, oh when, am I gonna go to Wherehouse Music?

Feeling very depressed and rather let down, but I'm not really at liberty to say why. I'm not really one for naming names. I don't even feel like coughing it sarcastically. How strange.

Went in to work last night, which was nice enough. I asked about my hours, and Mike said everyone's getting really crappy hours lately, because it's "slow". Well, I was behind the concessions counter for four hours, and we could have used about six more people that night. It was really anything but slow. I don't even work floor, and I had to sweep in front of the counter. I didn't even get a chance to go to the freaking bathroom. They even asked me to stay until 2, which I've already told them several times I can't do. If they want me to work more, they can schedule me on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I'm sick of this.

On a completely unrelated note: WHY HASN'T BORDERS CALLED ME?!?!?!?!

Anyway, enough ranting from me. On to happier subjects. Laura burned me a copy of the Moulin Rouge 2 soundtrack (the sequel to the soundtrack, not the soundtrack to the sequel), and it rocks. Totally mindblowing. Awesome CD. Despite Nicole Kidman singing. Ewan makes up for it. :^D

Anyway. I'm gonna go wait for dinner (salmon... mmm....), and then wait for Delacey to call with details on who's going where to hang out tonight. Until next time, namar.

2002-09-27T15:23:00.000-05:00

|Speculative Thoughts|

Current Music: Everything Breaks, Jewel (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: Wow, the guy on this mousepad advertising collegeplus.com really looks like Val Kilmer. Eww.

Okay, so last week Laura called me and said that she was running drawer at the concessions stand at Springfield 8 when a guy came up and ordered a large soda. Laura rang it up and said, "That'll be $3.14." And the guy handed her a $10 bill. He then proceeded to wave two fingers from left to right (a la Obi-Wan Kenobi), and solemnly replied, "Two dollars will suffice."

Needless to say, the guy was no Old Ben when it came to mind tricks. ("As you can see, my Jedi powers are far beyond yours.") So Laura stared at him for a while, and then repeated, "That'll be $3.14." Meanwhile, the guy's girlfriend (I know, I know, how did he get one of those?) was standing behind him and cracking up the whole time. Anyway. I found myself thinking about that little incident and wondering what I, as a die-hard Star Wars fan, would do in Laura's place. I came up with these possibilities:

1. Crazy guy: "Two dollars will suffice."
Me: waves hand from left to right "You will say 'Keep the change.'"

2. Crazy guy: "Two dollars will suffice."
Me: "Would you like extra nerd with that?"

3. Crazy guy: "Two dollars will suffice."
Me: waves hand from left to right "You will go try this at a theater where they're actually showing Episode II."

4. Crazy guy: "Two dollars will suffice."
Me: "Much to learn, you still have."

5. Crazy guy: "Two dollars will suffice."
Me: waves hand from left to right "You want to go home and rethink your life."

Man, now I hope he comes back and tries it on me.

BTW, the quote of the day is: "Why can't they get girlfriends?"--Bo, Signs

*waves hand from left to right* You will now bookmark this page... Namar.

2002-09-25T15:17:00.000-05:00

|Real Life Poetry, Part II|

Current Music: Where the Streets Have No Name, U2 (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: Maybe I'll get lucky, and Mom will feel like paying me for the test I typed for her, and then maybe we can go to Wherehouse Music, and maybe I'll find a used copy of The Joshua Tree for less than five dollars... Wow, that's a lot of maybes.

Untitled but Dedicated

They'll try to tell you
That you didn't do everything you could
That it's your fault she betrayed you
And when they can't get through
They'll surround you with a silence
So dense you can't even hear God
And your doubts and fears
Will grow louder as they wall you in
With your own drifting detachment
But you'll have to fight it
Tell yourself the truth
Everything you did was right
In the end it was her own choice
You couldn't force her; you didn't try
I saw her turn away and leave you
For what it's worth
You didn't waste your time
Time is never wasted
And you did something good
I know you did, because
Now you're persecuted
And that's what happens
When you do something good
But I don't suppose that helps you now
With their voices in your ear
You'll get through it
And someday you'll look back
And know there was nothing more
For you to do
That could save her.

written 9/24/02

To whom it concerns, I'm proud of you and I feel honored to call you my friend. There isn't much else to say; the poem says basically everything I want to tell you, but I didn't have the words face to face. Hope you don't mind this crude method of getting my point across.

Namar.

2002-09-25T12:37:00.000-05:00

|Real Life Poetry, Part I|

Current Music: The Memory of Trees, Enya (stuck in my head)

Current Thought: I hate it when the third-floor ICE Computer lab is closed.

Random Reflection

The time is no longer growing
Closer to the point where I believe
He'll turn to me and say
All the things I have so desperately
Wanted to hear for so long
Times like these, I can't understand
How girls like her stay so calm
In the face of these things
Even though I see the other side
I know it's an act
She's fooling him and everybody else
She's a good actor
But back to him
And eventually, indeed,
It all comes back to him
Will anything ever change?
Of course it will
When one or the other of us has to leave
Then it will change
("Absence makes" is a load of crap)
But that's not what I mean
What do I mean?
What do I want?
And for God's sake
How will I ever get it?

written 9/12/02-9/24/02

Namar.

2002-09-24T17:49:00.000-05:00

|Yay!|

Current Music: Electrical Storm again

Current Though: It works! It works!

Looks like I've found the perfect mix: w.bloggar and enetation's comment template. The only downside to this lovely program is that I can't publish when I've made changes to the template; I have to go through Blogger itself to do that. But I can live with it, because the comments work! Hallelujah, praise God, bless Jesus! HUZZAH!

Er, namar...

2002-09-24T17:35:00.000-05:00

|Well if the sky can crack there must be some way back to love and only love...|

Current Music: Electrical Storm, U2

Current Thought: What's up with the video to Electrical Storm?

Had a nice lazy day today-- in point of fact, I even had a bubble bath. Unfortunately, the bubble bath solution was sticky, and when I got out, I had to ruin it by taking a shower, too. But at least I can sleep in tomorrow.

I've decided to phase out the commenting feature until I can find a reliable provider. For some reason, my Blog's template got all screwy with this one, and turned the quotes and equal signs into carats, which left strings of spare code littered all over my beautiful white page. Maybe it's a Blogger problem...

Just downloaded a delightful program caled w.bloggar, a blogging utility that works with Blogger, and lo and behold, it does templates, too! Now I'm checking out enetation's comment system. Maybe I'll get lucky and actually find one that works.

Whoa. My frog tank's filter was making a sound disturbingly similar to that of the aliens in Signs. As Josiah would say, "Those dang Ethiopians..."

Just in case any Ethiopians are reading this page, I mean no offense to Ethiopians, and I'm sure Josiah didn't either.

Anyway. Gonna try out this new comment system now, so stay tuned. Namar.

2002-09-23T15:18:00.000-05:00

|At night, she changed her mind...|

Current Music: Tomorrow, Avril Lavigne

Current Thought: Origami stuff, still.

It just occured to me that my priorities have changed. I'd only blow off a youth retreat for a U2 concert... but only if Semisonic was opening for them... in Dublin... and a really hot guy (preferably a British/Scottish/Irish one) bought me front-row tickets and airfare.

I know, not bloody likely, but at least that means I won't be blowing off any youth retreats soon.

Just remembered an experiment I did once... I read in my Klutz dream journal that it is actually possible to train yourself to dream certain things, using willpower and a vivid imagination right before you go to bed. They said it helps to write it down. So I tried it. Around 11 o'clock one night, I wrote the entire story line of the dream I wanted, and it went something like this... "Sean Biggerstaff takes me around New York, buys me a Fender Strat, and we end up at a U2 concert in Central Park. He kisses me during All I Want Is You." (For the uninitiated, Sean Biggerstaff is an extremely attractive Scottish actor, previously seen in that Harry Whoever movie, who is about my age and looks like a young Ewan McGregor. I had a huge crush on him recently. Probably still do. Haven't checked.)

Anyway, I read that little note to myself and burned it into my brain, then eventually went to sleep. And next thing I know, I'm at some concert somewhere, with a miscellaneous musician up on stage, playing a Fender Strat. He wasn't very good, and he couldn't sing. And "Sean Biggerstaff" was a not-very-attractive guy standing next to me. And, as with most of my dreams recently, there was no kissing. How incredibly disappointing. I guess I'm not good with willpower.

Sweet dreams. Namar.

2002-09-23T15:06:00.000-05:00

|Fellito moved! OhmiGod!|

Current Music: Losing Grip, Avril Lavigne

Current Thought: I should finally get my paycheck today, so I can buy some origami paper to give to Joel, since I borrowed his freaking awesome origami book last night... But I didn't say how much origami paper I'd give him. Muahahahaha.

Got out of Spanish early thanks to the end of a really, really awful movie and a really, really easy quiz afterwards that I finished in record time. I'm always the first to finish, but this time I think I surprised even myself. And the quiz was written in Spanish, too.

Sometimes, I even amaze myself.

So, have I mentioned that the youth retreat rocked? Well, it did. As did the bible study on Sunday afternoon. And I get to go to Bible Quiz tonight! (And I finally have chapter 12 memorized!) It just gets better and better.

I have this strange urge to headbang as I listen to Complicated. Ahh, Avril Lavigne and her rebellious teen ways... Almost makes me want to be a rebellious teen, too. But... no. I just couldn't pull it off. Ties and tank tops don't look good on me.

Ahh! Sk8r Boi! Skip tracks! Quick!

Whew... Funny. I'm just not in the mood for that song. I'm With You fits my mood much better right now.

Before I sign off, I'll reply to my comments (comments! Yay!). Laura dear, I added this neato feature last Friday, after finding it on http://www.klinkfamily.com/BlogOut/ . Speaking of which, what's the URL to your blog? I wanna read it!

Kathleen, by far the best quote from that awful, awful movie was said by the main character, Balbuena... "So I said, 'Why do I need two-ply toilet paper? So I don't have to keep a copy?'" And as you can imagine, the fact that that was the best quote out of the whole thing doesn't say a whole lot for the rest of the movie. For an indication of just how truly, truly awful it was, one of the characters died at the end, and just before the scene faded to black, the actor started to stand up. My teacher had to clear things up for us. "And just so you know," he said, "Fellito really is dead, despite him moving before the camera." Oy. I really, really do love my Spanish class, but sometimes it scares me.

Namar.

P.S.: Thort buth!

2002-09-20T15:24:00.000-05:00

|Just a quick note|

Current Music: My Lover's Gone, Dido

Current Thought: Well, now that I've sent all my friends an e-mail with the URL of my weblog...

Just thought I'd mention, for the sake of the uninitiated, that in this weblog, new messages go at the top of the page. So right now, you're looking at my latest post. My first post will be at the bottom, until it gets archived, and then you can click on the "archives" link to see everything I've written before. K? K.

Namar.

Edit: Whoa... This post and the very first one were posted exactly two days apart. Freaky...

Okay, so maybe not really. Namar.

2002-09-20T15:14:00.000-05:00

|It's a name for a girl... it's also a thought that changed the world.|

Current Music: Here With Me, Dido

Current Thought: I need to pick up my paycheck. Not a very big paycheck, but a paycheck nonetheless.

School went by in a blessed blur. My little story was well received, probably because I got another girl in the class to read it. She did an awesome job; her whole reading style is exactly what I was looking for. Yeah, okay Hannah, don't get excited... not like it was a book on tape or anything. You're not published... yet. Muahahaha.

Anyway. Excited about the youth retreat. It's a shame Natalie won't be here; she didn't come last year, either. At least this time she's got a good excuse... Michelle Branch in concert. Almost makes me wish I could blow off the retreat and go with her. But of course, I'd never do that.

I'd only blow off a youth retreat for a U2 concert.

Hrm... the chocolate mini-donuts I had just now are doing absolute nothing to satiate me. Spanish class always makes me hungry... especially when we watch really stupid movies like Nueba Yol. Oh, well. At least I got some decently humorous quotes out of it, but don't expect me to say them in Spanish. Thank God for subtitles.

Adios, and namar.

2002-09-18T18:28:00.000-05:00

|Completely pleased|

Current Music: DND, Semisonic

Current Thought: I need a map to the youth retreat place for Friday...

Feeling strangely fine now that I spent $12 on a pair of headphones and a Semisonic CD. Funny how a used CD in nearly perfect condition and an amazing set of headphones for $5.99 can perk up a day.

Got my cash for the youth retreat, got my tithe money, not working Friday... It's gonna be a spaunch weekend. Can't wait.

May the Force be with you, and namar...

2002-09-18T15:24:00.000-05:00

|No more extra butter!|

Current Music: Mysterious Ways, U2

Current Thought: I want to do something tonight...

Wow, post #1 on my brand-spankin' new weblog. How terribly exciting. Can't you feel the tremor of anticipation in the air? I thought so.

Spent most of my day in class, and just got out... had great fun listening to other students' stories in Art & Experience, and I somehow managed to get out without reading my own. But come Friday, we're doing it all again, so I'll end up having to in order to get a good grade-- unless I get someone else to do it. Heeeeeeeey, there's a thought.

Anyway. Went in for a job interview at the new Borders, and it went marvelously well. They said they'll be calling people this week, so maybe, just maybe, I can go in to the theater on Friday to get my check and give 'em my two week notice. No more popcorn! No more lousy wages! No more getting "staws" from the cabinet... Okay, so that's a bit of an inside joke. Suffice it to say that our managers are so intelligent that they've almost mastered the use of that little labeling gun. Anyway... No more extra butter! Huzzah!

On a sadder note, no more free movies... but I'll get discount books and music! Yeah, baby!

Anyhoo. Until next time, namar...